20 Of The Juiciest And Nastiest Dirty Little Secrets This Month

5. The politician who doesn’t care

“I had an affair with a prominent politician and got pregnant. I was pressured into having an abortion. He is full of BS!!!”

4. Daddy dom and the little

“My secret is, I live the secret life of a little, I have a daddy dom who cares for me, protects me and dominates me. I feel completely loved and completely safe with him 100% and I am 100% dedicated to my daddy, I will do what ever it takes to make him happy. Everyone believes daddies are secret abusers, they most definitely are not, I consent to every spanking, every toy, every bruise, every welt, it is all in my control, I love my daddy, my daddy would never hurt me with out my consent, we have rules and boundaries. My daddy is so loving and so protective, to me there is no safer place in the world than in his arms.”

3. “Harder daddy”

“I didn’t have a dad growing up. The closest was my best mate’s dad who is and always has been hot as f**k. So thinking daddy thoughts while going at it brings up images of him for me. Now I’m grown up, if I had the chance I’d ride him and scream “harder daddy”

2. Once in every four year? Dang it!

“My man is a leap year baby. I’m only obliged to suck his d!ck once every 4 years”

1. No more apricot bliss balls for you, lady!

“My kids and I made apricot bliss balls yesterday, and I ate about five or six.

Last night just as there was a knock at the door I really let one rip. The guy I just started dating decided to pop in to say hi, after inviting him in I noticed a smell so bad it made my eyes sting. It took me a minute to realise that smell came from me. There was no way he wouldn’t have noticed, so I said I’m just taking the bin out too many dirty nappies. He came in and we were chatting and drinking wine when I felt a rumble and I knew it would stink too, so I excused myself and went and farted in the laundry and closed the door.

Now I’m the sort of girl who likes to play pull my finger, but we are currently in the early stages, you know where you pretend you don’t fart or poo, and you have sex every time you see each other. I was sure I was going to have use the toilet soon, and on the off chance he would want to use it in the next hour after me I was going to be mortified.

I had to get him to leave, any minute now he was going to suggest going to my bedroom. I felt the pressure building up, Normally I would be delighted to take up his offer, but knowing the chances of a repeat performance were slim if during my cries of ecstasy other body parts joined in with the volume up high. How does one quickly get a guest to leave while squeezing their pelvic floor so tightly it was difficult to move, any gas that escaped would pollute the air immediately, if I sneezed it was game over.

I used the old reliable I have a headache and need to sleep it off. Fortunately he suggested he go, and no don’t get up you rest. I counted to three and hoped he was far enough away from the door not to hear what came from my body. I had to leave the room in order to breathe. I may need to throw my undies out.”

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Some entries have been edited for clarity, spelling, and grammar.