15 Surprising, Funny and Disgusting Dirty Little Secrets Revealed in June

What’s with secrets that make it really interesting?

Well, because for the most part, it’s surprising (that it would rock your world just by reading it), it’s funny (that would get you amused for hours if not forever), and it’s disgusting (that would make you thank the heavens it didn’t happen to you).

But, you love reading secrets anyway, right? So, this month, we’ve got you 15 of the most surprising, the funniest and most disgusting dirty little secrets shared by people who decided not to hide their secrets forever (they remain anonymous anyways which is the coolest part). Read on! (Some entries have been edited for clarity, spelling, and grammar.)

15. “…I also love to snoop.”

“I am a school teacher. I also love to snoop. Before lunch every day, I try to confiscate 1 or 2 phones to get my snooping fix. I know it’s wrong. I just don’t care.”

14. “I used to be a bit of a wh**e.”

“Pretty sure I might have slept with my kid’s pediatrician about 10 years ago. I used to be a bit of a wh**e back in the day.”

13. “…mother in law would seduce me”

“I wish I my mother in law would seduce me.”

12. “…partner would cheat on me…”

“I wish my partner would cheat on me so I had a reason to leave.”

11. “Hubby and I have a unicorn.”

“Hubby and I have a unicorn. Holy crap has she made our life amazingly better by being in it. I’ve fallen in love with her, he knows this and is perfectly fine with it. In his eyes, he has two women. In mine, I have a husband and a wife. My life is amazing right now we are so much more energised because of her. Our stale 20+ marriage has grown leaps and bounds. It’s definitely not for everyone but it works for us.”

10. “…love to see my wife being pleasured by a guy…”

“I’d love to see my wife being pleasured by a guy i bring home. Maybe a work friend, we have a few beers and I send him in naked to our bedroom, give them 10 min to have some fun, then I join. Fun times.”

9. “…had a crazy intense orgasm with the shower head.”

“Just had a crazy intense orgasm with the shower head. Horny as f**k to go again now. I used to have a ‘special friend’ I could share these moments with and spend the afternoon sexting but the f*cker got a real girlfriend. I don’t want a bf, I just want someone to sext.”

8. “…saw a red mark on my neck.”

“Bf and I had a wild “session” and I had to head out immediately since I was meeting people. I bumped to people at the cafe I went to and said hellos. So I went on with my day. Home in the late arvo and saw a red mark on my neck. I was only able to laugh because I felt so embarrassed. Lol! Everyone saw it for sure.”

7. “I decided to post his number on a site and said I was horny.”

“I met a guy through Tinder and after a month, he ignored my texts and calls. I knew he had a girlfriend but I still got a bit upset that he left with no word. So, I decided to post his number on a site and said I was horny and asked guys to send me dick pics through that number. Haha! It makes me giggle when I think about how many dick pics he’s been getting after that.”

6. “Hubs was packing stuff for our move and all my porn fell out.”

“Hubs and I have had sex 3 times since October last year. He says he’s still attracted to me, claims to rarely masturbates and only to pics of me (which I told him is weird and creepy). Anyway. I’ve always had a higher sex drive. Hubs was packing stuff for our move and all my porn fell out. Haha! Sh*t! But it’s been a while. This must be how men feel when they get busted. Haha! There was so much porn.”

5. “I accidentally shat in my husband’s hoodie.”

“I accidentally shat in my husband’s hoodie. Ladies, you know when you’re wearing your man’s hoodie and you get to be all cute and shuffle the sleeves back to use your hands? Yeah, don’t do that when you’re wiping your butt. My sleeve just fell down straight onto the poopy toilet paper. and in my panic. I pulled my arm back out of the toilet area and then up, which caused the soiled toilet paper to fall down my sleeve and put shit all over the hoodie sleeve. Woopsy doo. Better shove this straight in the wash and hide my shame.”

4. “…can bend my knees past the knee joint to a 45 degree angle…”

I can bend my knees past the knee joint to a 45 degree angle with no pain or discomfort. Pretty sure thats not normal.

3. “When I have my period I fart heaps…”

“When I have my period I fart heaps and they smell rancid — but I secretly love smelling them!”

2. “I filled his beer with urine…”

“I told my husband if he drank and got nasty to me again, I will piss in his beer. Anyway, a couple of drinks later and he’s started arguing, so I filled his beer with urine and I’m not even feeling bad about the moment he takes a swig! You can’t handle the booze, serves you right.”

1. “When I make his coffee I spit in it…”

“My husband can be such a selfish ahole. So every morning when I make his coffee, I spit in it before adding the hot water. He says I make the best coffee and he can taste the love.”

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