If you have recently planned an event, you probably invited guests by various means: old school invites, a Facebook event page, email, text and/or phone call. And, if you did this, you probably also gave everyone a range of details about time and place, what sort of spread you’d be offering and whether or not folks would have to BYO and wear anything special (like pants or shoes). I bet you even optimistically gave an RSVP date, with your mobile number for added convenience.

So, having done all that convention requires of you as hostess, when the RSVP date rolled around, tell me how many actual RSVPs did you receive? A couple? Say, 20%? Maybe less? Or”¦“¦ maybe even none??

I kid you not: this ‘non-RSVP-ing thing’ has become rife among our generation. It’s an untold epidemic of poor etiquette; a dying art which is killing our social lives.

Every day, thousands of hostesses across Australia are making frantic last minute phone calls to would-be guests to find out whether or not in fact they will be guests at Saturday’s soiree. Every three minutes, an unsuspecting hostess is crying her eyes out, thinking that her friends have all found something better to do, and that she and she alone will have to eat 200 profiteroles in the next two days. Every ten seconds that hostess takes another bite of that chocolate-topped, cream-filled pastry that tastes like nothing but bitterness and disappointment.

Why is it so freaking hard for folks to RSVP?

With all of the communication methods available to us these days, why is it so gosh-darned hard for peeps to get a simple ‘Yea’ or ‘Nay’ to the hostess of a party? If sending a formal, calligraphy-written response in a wax-sealed envelope delivered by carrier pigeon is not really your schtick, how about picking up the ol’ dog and bone? Or flicking through an email? An RSVP via Facebook is ridiculously easy and a texted RSVP takes two seconds. In fact, all of this (bar the carrier pigeon) is so easy it could be achieved whilst you’re on the throne, or in line at the shops or bored witless at a meeting.

So, what could be worse than not RSVP-ing?

Could there actually be something worse than leaving your gracious hostess-in-waiting hanging? YES. It’s called: Pulling Out At the Last Minute With A Lame-Ass Excuse. This is the height of rudeness, especially when you already suspected you may not make it to the event from the outset. Anyone who has been on the receiving end of this knows what it feels like bloody awful.

Bringing the RSVP Back

Being part of this movement is as easy as setting yourself a phone reminder so that, on RSVP day, you don’t forget. You could write both the party and the RSVP dates in your diary, or you could stick the invite on the butter in your fridge till you RSVP. You might even consider having the date inked in mirror image on your forehead so that you see it whenever you look in the mirror. And, if you’re too weak to be honest with the hostess and tell her that you won’t be coming cos you don’t really want to be there, well, I say grow a pair. I’d rather you risked offending me, than left me with 200 profiteroles on my party day.

As a hostess, what has your experience with RSVPs been? Are we wishing the RSVP an RIP?