4 Year Old Girl Hit By Boy Is Told He Must Have Liked Her

“I bet he likes you.”

An adult telling a 4 year old girl, that a boy hitting her in the face is how he shows he likes her, ain’t ok. EVER.

A mother who took her 4 year old into the emergency department of the Nationwide Children’s hospital in Columbus, Ohio has hit back at an off the cuff comment directed to her child. The comment was flippantly made in attempt to lighten the situation by a man at the hospital registration desk when Merrit Smith presented with her injured daughter.

With a swollen and bloody cut beneath her daughter’s eye, Merrit could not believe her ears. Her daughter, who had been hit in the face by a boy at school and now required stitches, was being told by a person, with whom she is expected to place her trust to allow him to help her, that this is an acceptable way for a boy to express that he likes you.

The mother has taken to facebook with an open letter citing;

“Dear man at the registration desk at Nationwide Children’s hospital, l’m positive that you didn’t think that statement through. As soon as I heard it I knew that is where it begins. That statement is where the idea that hurting is flirting begins to set a tone for what is acceptable behavior. My four year old knows “That’s not how we show we like someone. That was not a good choice.”

In that moment, hurt and in a new place, worried about perhaps getting a shot or stitches you were a person we needed to help us and your words of comfort conveyed a message that someone who likes you might hurt you. No. I will not allow that message to be ok. I will not allow it to be louder than “That’s not how we show we like each other.” At that desk you are in a position of influence, whether you realize it or not. You thought you were making the moment lighter. It is time to take responsibility for the messages we as a society give our children. Do Not tell my 4 year old who needs stitches from a boy at school hitting her “I bet he likes you.” NO.”

The following comments were made on Merritt Smith’s open letter on Facebook:

Flipping Tables

She contained herself better than I’d have done in that situation because I would have popped a vein in my forehead and metaphorically flipped a freakin’ table, right then and there. My inner monologue would be exploding with WTF’s while I conceal my rage with a civil yet acid laced, ‘Is that so.’ While I don’t want to get all soap box, I’m struggling to dial down my furious outrage over this.

I’m not necessarily pissy at the boy who hit her or at the guy who said it, I’m inherently frustrated because I feel, like Merrit, that this is exactly where the cycle of domestic violence lies. In insidious messages like this. Off the cuff actions, words, body language and antiquated, ingrained gender stereotypical behaviours that many adults dismiss, or even take little notice of.

Kids see. They see all and hear all. Even when you think they don’t.

Be the change, and be conscious of the messages your children are receiving at every moment.

Fortunately, both the families of the children involved are said to have loving families to guide them through this aiming for a positive outcome and nurturing them to understand the parameters of the situation.

While our children are growing and learning to manage their emotional and physical maturity, surely it is our job as parents to teach them, and lead by example. Raising them up to have a strong sense of respect for themselves and others, build a strong foundation for healthy self esteem, have the confidence to be assertive and unwavering in their core values.
That is the key.