We’ve all got a friend like this, or know of a friend of a friend like this.

They are seen as needy and dependant. Most will not admit they are one, and yet they are more common than you think. We’re talking about a startling number of our sister’s in arms, the ones some feel are pushing back the feminist movement, yet most of us wouldn’t know we are one until we were in the situation ourselves. You may be surprised that when push came to shove, you might find you are a woman who can’t live without a partner.

Now, most research and studies that have been performed over the past 20 years have been in heterosexual couples.

Same-sex couples’ studies into co-dependability have not been extensively published, so for the sake of this article, we are talking about the dependency of women and men.

In most relationships, we rely on each other. I rely on my husband to take out the bin, pick up the dog shit and kill spiders. He relies on me for everything else. We, like most long-term married couples with kids, probably take for granted the easy, comfortable conversation and camaraderie (us against the kids) we have with each other and the knowledge that the other one is always there.

clingy woman 1 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

Our home functions well when we work together and we tend to (generally) compliment each other’s lives. But should something happen and I suddenly found myself without my husband, would I fall in a heap and seek out an immediate replacement, questioning my self-worth and disregarding any appropriate time to ‘grieve the relationship’? Probably not. I would take full advantage of the bed to myself, get my son to take the bin out and buy a lot of bug spray.

Who is a codependent woman?

Codependent Women | Stay At Home Mum — via Pinterest

Women who are codependent are statistically, very unsure of their own self-worth. They often marry very young and have been in relationships from an early age. They are often eager to please and have very few friends outside of their partner’s partners. They are NEVER not in a relationship, or without one for very long.

Most women who find it extremely hard to live without a man have children quite young and may have many children in an attempt to ‘fix’ their marriage when it feels under threat. Sadly, a huge number of codependent women live in abusive relationships.

But do women really need men?

Codependent Women | Stay At Home Mum via telegraph.co.uk

In truth, no one sex could survive without the other for obvious reproductive reasons. On one hand, you have the feminist movement claiming women can do and have it all, they don’t need a man to provide for or support them. Not surprisingly, most of these women are single.

To the other extreme, you have women who literally cannot live without a sexual relationship with a man. These women often find their self-worth defined by comments and opinions from their spouse and tend to worry constantly about their man leaving them. Ironically, it’s this anxiety, paranoia and lack of self-confidence that usually drives the man away!

What are the other factors that lead to codependency?

Maybe it’s about loneliness? Or fear of being on one’s own? So many adults these days are unable to be alone with their thoughts, to entertain themselves, afraid to get bored. Maybe this codependency is fuelled by not only a desire to be surrounded by even just a perceived form of love, but also by an intense fear of being lonely?

Women are still brought up to nurture, to find a man and have children. Society is becoming more accepting of same-sex couples and career-oriented females, but there is still that inbuilt expectation that girls will grow up to be mothers and wives.

When this instinct is more highly valued in some women, can we really blame them for wanting to constantly be in a relationship? To be seen as always ‘ticking the box’ when it comes to what they believe is expected of them?