Vaginas Aren’t Venus Flytraps

Do men think that women’s vaginas are neat, self-sealing units like some kind of naturally occurring sandwich bag?

Do they think vaginas keep the contents safely inside once they have been, ahem, filled?

To be fair, most men probably don’t believe this, but one poor woman’s husband out there apparently wishes this was the case.

Last month on his podcast, “Lovecast“, popular American relationship and sex advice columnist, Dan Savage, took a question from a listener who was distressed about his wife’s vag.

“When we have sex, I obviously ejaculate, and my semen goes inside her.

“For the past 20 years, we’ve needed to have paper towels nearby, because she’s unable to hold it inside when she goes to the bathroom. It drips all over, it gets on the sheet, it’s just nasty.

“We’d both like to solve this problem, but I’m not sure what the source of the problem is. Is it that her Kegel muscles are too weak and she needs to tighten those up? Or is this something that every woman has to deal with, and I just don’t remember prior to marriage because I was either drunk, self-absorbed, whatever and just didn’t notice my sexual partners going through this?”

Dan Savage, who is gay, quipped: “Heterosexual sex is disgusting, isn’t it?” before recommending to the listener that he and his wife should keep “cum rags” by the bed, and the wife could hold a towel between her legs when she walks to the bathroom afterwards.

Podcast listeners did not cope very well with the listener’s question at all. At the beginning of Savage’s next episode he revealed that there were more responses to this man’s question from listeners than were ever received in the history of the podcast, on any topic at all.

He shared some of them with his listeners, including these gems:

“I feel terrible for this woman being shamed to think that there’s something wrong with her body because he’s disgusted by the sight of his own cum coming out of her!”

And:

“Vaginas aren’t Venus flytraps!”

And:

“There’s no amount of Kegels that are going to turn your vagina into a Ziploc bag!”

And:

 

“Let’s not call this a problem at all. A woman’s nether regions are supposed to be pristinely hair-free and of course smell like a meadow full of flowers, and now my vagina is expected to be watertight? Give me a fucking break.”

Sounds like this guy, after TWENTY YEARS of doing the deed with his wife hasn’t figured out the female anatomy yet and would be better served with a Fleshlight or a blow up doll”¦ you know, some sort of container where his “nasty” semen will stay inside and not bother him.

What I find concerning about this man’s problem is how he has tried to blame the issue on his wife. Vaginas are designed to menstruate and for childbirth. Things come out of them. That is just the way they are.

After 20 years, does his poor wife think that there is something terribly wrong with her and that she is lucky he wants to sleep with her at all? Is that why she “also wants a solution” because he has put all the guilt and shame on her of his unreasonable expectations about her body’s functions? Who knows, but it makes me wonder.

It’s not something that most people would discuss in polite company, of course, but someone else’s fluids being left inside, and then coming back out again, is just a biological fact of life if you are having intercourse.  All the Kegels in the world aren’t going to defy gravity and the laws of physics.

What’s your reaction to this guy’s insensitive question?