The Top Ten Signs You Are Dealing With A Manchild

AHH-ahh-ahh..chhhoo! If this is the sound echoing through your home then you know flu season has arrived “” the man-child season. To help you to identify a man-child from a man, in collaboration with Vicks VaporRub we have compiled a top 10 list of the condition’s unmistakable symptoms, as told by Stay At Home Mum followers. Feel free to print out and keep in your top drawer as a reference!

1. They moan and grizzle”¦ all the time.
Ever seen your partner sit in the bottom of the shower, head in his hands, my world is ending kind-of look in his eyes? Yes, he is suffering from the flu and so standing is absolutely out of the question. Add in the token moan and grizzle and there you have it, your very own man-child. One follower found her partner bent in the shower like this and decided to leave him there, the hot water would do him good, she said.

2. They wake you at 3am to rub their backs with Vicks VapoRub.Maybe you can bear the constant nag for another tissue, nasally requests for medicine and hot cups of tea but a 3am wakeup call to rub Vicks VapoRub into your partner’s back, well anyone who does this deserves a medal! A Stay At Home Mum follower told of being woken in the middle of night to participate in such a task after being told, “It works better when a mum rubs it on your chest!” She believes from that moment she graduated from a mum of a three and four-year-old to one of a man-child “” and we would have to agree!

3. They triple layer their clothes
Three pairs of socks to bed, a puffer jacket and a snow beanie “” seriously? What are you sleeping next to, the michelin man? We know men like to over-dramatise their flu symptoms, but this man-child might be taking it to a whole new level! A follower told how her partner continued to shiver while curled up in the fetal position, with three layers of clothes on. “Yes, the heating is on, and yes, that is my scarf!”

4. Pouty, reserved demeanour
This may be one of the first signs your partner is about to turn all man-child on you. Shrugging around the house with a duvet draped over his shoulders and socks half flopping over his toes. He becomes withdrawn and uncommunicative. He will respond to your question with the token cough, cough, sniff and blow his nose after declaring he is off to bed early.

5. Selflessly allowing others (meaning you) to do chores
Vacuuming is certainly out of the question, so is unloading the dishwasher, or even packing the dishwasher for that matter. Cooking dinner, bathing the kids, ordering them to do their school work. You know your partner has truly crossed the man-child threshold when he won’t even take the rubbish out for you, that’s dedication to his suffering. One follower said her husband abandoned his manhood so much he even didn’t argue when she drove his car to the shops.

6. Craving for affection
These men who previously prided themselves on their burly, physical demeanor turn into kitten-like creatures who crave cuddles and want to put their head in your lap and have it stroked. One follower said her husband made the “meh” noise in bed until she wrapped her arms around him until he fell to sleep. That’s love people.

7. Describing symptoms for sympathy
Snotty, chesty, sweaty, feverish “” these sometimes graphic explanations are just the sort of thing a typical man-child would say, seeking the attention and sympathy they feel they deserve for fighting off the flu. They typically start in the evenings and gradually develop as the night progresses, until bed is a playground for sniffles and all manner of phlegmy coughs! Followers have described their men announcing, “I’m going to die”, after a day of having a runny nose, and “This cold is so bad I think I might die”.

8. Referring to their partners as “mummy”.
Oh yes, the mummy card. This is one men have learned from their children over time, it works a treat, softening us females down to a marshmallowy-understanding version of ourselves. C’mon’, who doesn’t love it when our children seek out mummy over daddy? It’s a win in the parenting stakes, so we can’t really blame our partners for using the line when they’re sick, can we? What if they pull the mummy card in the middle of the night because they want some attention? Do we fold? One follower says she did, and regretted it immediately!

9. Chicken soup of nothing
This is a demand usually reserved for a few days after the flu symptoms have arrived, when vegemite on toast doesn’t cut it anymore and making something nutritious is way, way too much effort. One follower described her partner playing on his illness so much, he even begged for his chicken soup. I mean, who could turn that down?

10. They insist that playing video games will cure their illness.
Laying on the couch, feet resting on the coffee table and remote in hand, mindlessly playing video games, just wasting the day away. They have their dressing gown on, with flannel pyjamas underneath, three empty coffee cups scattered on the table, Vicks VapoDrop wrappers littering the floor and dirty tissues on their lap. It paints a pretty picture doesn’t it! Have you spotted any man-child symptoms that might add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.

Thanks to Vicks VapoRub for providing the video inspiration for this post. You can watch the video here.

Vicks VapoRub is a menthol cream used to alleviate symptoms of coughs, nasal congestion, body aches, muscle stiffness and chest congestion. It’s suitable for ages 2+ and provides effective use for the whole family. If it’s on your manchild’s back, the soles of the kids feet with warm socks on or rubbed into a clean handkerchief to help clear a runny nose Vicks VapoRub works a treat and is a must have this winter!