How to Get Over a Breakup When Your Heart Has Been Shattered

No matter how perfect the relationship has been or how compatible the personalities are, there are relationships that aren’t meant to last forever.

Breakups are horrible. When a relationship ends, it causes pain to both involved. That ‘forever’ you both once thought you had seems somewhat ridiculous now. Breakups make people lose their minds and interests in just about everything. It pushes them to go back to zero.

Everything will be okay – eventually. Time does ease all wounds. You need to put one foot in front of the other, and just survive day to day until that happens.

We have an action plan on things you can do when you think you can’t go on!

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1. Promise Yourself 60 Days of No Contact

Yes, sixty days sounds like a lifetime, and when you have just broken up badly, it is.  But if you can make it to sixty days, you can do anything!!!  So take them out of your phone contacts (unless you have children of course).  Allow yourself time to grieve.  It is perfectly okay to stay in bed and cry for hours. Limit your ‘Crying Time’ to home only.  If you can, swallow the pain at work or school – and throw yourself into your job, the gym, book a holiday with mates.

After sixty days – you can start to re-evaluate how you are still feeling about the relationship.

A great way to get through your sixty days is to put a countdown up on the fridge or somewhere where you will see your progress every single day.  Keeping a diary of how you are feeling is a great idea too. Buy a pretty one just for yourself!

2. Get a Drastic Makeover

Nothing makes a girl feel better than getting a bit of pampering. But you just had a relationship break up – so you don’t need minor pampering – you need hardcore pampering!

So if you have ever wanted to cut your hair short, or get hair extensions, go blonde – now’s the time.  A whole new look can make you feel so different from the person who was heartbroken – so it can work as a type of ‘costume’ – while you are working out your feelings.

Go hard or go home!

3. Write a Letter to Your Ex (Then Don’t Send it!)

Much like the diary, getting off your chest everything that you want to tell your ex is a good thing – just don’t actually do it in person!  Writing them a letter or multiple letters explaining exactly how you feel – is a great way of trying to move on.  Place the letters somewhere safe.  If after 60 days of no contact you feel exactly the same way – then maybe it is time to send them!

4. Reconnect with Old Friends

You don’t have to compartmentalize and keep all the pain to yourself. You have your friends, and they’re there to help you whenever you’re feeling down. Tell them about what you’re going through and they’d be very happy to bond with you and accompany you as you heal and get over a breakup. After all, it’s not healthy to deal with breakdowns alone. Sometimes, you really have to have someone you can rely on. Someone with genuine intentions for you. Someone you can trust.

Drink wine and get fucked up!  Eat ice cream for dinner.  Go out dancing until the wee hours of the morning.  Kick your heels up and have a great time!

5. Book a Holiday with Some Friends

Repress the pain with joy and book a holiday trip with your friends. Make happy memories together! At this time, you have to divert your attention to those people who make you feel good and alive because if you keep on thinking about him, you’re just going to get more hurt and confused. You have to make memories with other people you cherish so that when you think of the past, it’s not only him that you’ll remember.

This is a great thing to do in the sixty-day period!

More Reading:

• Best Luxury Family Resorts in Australia
• 6 Ways to afford a Holiday When Money is Tight

Here are some sites to get a good deal on a holiday:

• Wotif is a great site that compares the price of most hotels and flights all around the world.
• Last Minute is another great family holiday discount site to check out.
• Booking.com is one of the more popular discount holiday websites that compare hotel rooms and flights.
• Kogan has a really good ‘Discount Travel’ section that is really CHEAP!!!
• Agoda

6. If You Are Not Coping, Book Some Therapy Sessions

It isn’t weak to go and see a counsellor.  In fact, it is totally healthy and a good check on your mental health.  Just having someone that will listen to how you are feeling and can help you plan the next steps on healing is a good thing.

Book some sessions for you and vent, vent, vent!

There are even online counselling sites now – so you can get therapy from the comfort of your bed. Check out:

• Betterhelp
• Counselling Online
• Therapy Tribe

7. Listen to Loud, Hard Core Music

Download Spotify and put together a few playlists – have a hardcore heavy metal list, and then perhaps a list of breakup songs to listen to.  Music can really help you get through the tough times.  Invest in a good set of headphones – and play it loud and hard!

Some examples of songs that tick both boxes include:

• ‘You Oughta Know’ by Alanis Morrisette
• ‘Don’t Speak’ by No Doubt
• ‘Cry Me a River’ Justin Timberlake

Or some songs that will make you laugh:

• ‘Everytime’ by Butterfingers

8. Have a Rage-athon at the Gym

Working out demands a lot of force, making it a good way to release your frustrations. It’s a good way to let go of your anger because you won’t be arrested for breaking those push-up bars. Well, they’re almost unbreakable! And isn’t it a sucker punch on his face if he sees you looking better than before?

So punch those punching bags and release all the hatred you have for him, or run on the treadmill as if you’re running towards him to give him the kick he deserves!

Be aggressive without getting worried about the police!

10. Buy Something Totally Insane!

It’s normal to be a bit crazy post-breakup so it’s just acceptable for you to buy something insane. Buy a Hot Rod or that fancy car you have always wanted, or that desktop refrigerator that only a can of Coke can fit in.

Even a piece of jewellery or a tattoo (not your ex’s name!) – something that you are buying, just for you!

11. Work on Climbing the Ladder at Work

When your relationship ends, it doesn’t mean that your career goals should also vanish. Instead of being sad about the pain, you can use it as a motivation for you to strive hard and be better at your chosen field of endeavour.

Focus on your career and achieve your dreams. You have numerous bills to pay every month whether they stay in your life or not.

12. If You’re Under Him, You Won’t Get Over Him

Don’t sleep with your ex. Bad bad bad idea! Instead, find a real hottie – have a one-nighter (if you want) – and feel AMAZING! But for the love of God use a condom!!

Sign up for online dating!

More Reading: 10+ Best Australian Online Dating Websites

13. Find a New Hobby That Doesn’t Include Stalking

Finding a new hobby is also effective when you want to move on. Now that you’re single, you have all your time and you can spend it doing anything without ever feeling guilty. Now’s the time to treat yourself and make yourself feel better!

Baking = Good

Stalking = Bad

More Reading: 100+ Hobby Ideas for Mums

14. Burn Everything that Reminds You of Them

Feeling particularly bitter?  Awesome.  That’s okay.  Grab everything that they have given you, and all photographs – and create a bonfire. 

Burn them – BURN THEM!!!! Honestly – it feels good!

15. Feel the Pain and Cry

You see, you don’t have to suppress all the feelings and live like you’re okay. You’re not okay, and that’s the truth. Just feel the pain and cry your heart out because acceptance is one way to heal. You don’t have to pretend that you’ve already moved on because the more you refuse to deal with your emotions, the more they will consume you.

Don’t worry, this phase of your life will eventually end. The pain is fresh, so it will really feel like you’re not going to get over it. But believe me, you will. And when it happens, you’ll be stronger.

How do you get over a breakup?