How to Be An Awesome Mother-in-Law

How to Be An Awesome Mother in Law

We love to joke at SAHM about Monster-in-Laws, but in reality having an in-law that you clash with can be no laughing matter. We’ve all heard the saying you can’t choose your family and this holds true for your in-laws as well. So we’ve asked one of our favourite page moderators, who also happens to be an excellent mother-in-law to help us come up with some tips on making the most out of your relationship with your in laws, whether you are the mother in law, the daughter in law or the sister in law.

And, as we have discovered, it’s all about balance, compromise, communication and acceptance. So, without further ado, here are our tips on how to be an awesome mother in law:

Ditch the Complaints

Remember that forming a relationship with your in-law is a two way street. There is no point in complaining about your in-laws being nasty when you are just as bad. So take a step back and walk away from the negativity. If your in-law is still a nasty piece of work, at least you haven’t stooped to the same level.

Maintain a Respectful Distance

You want to be a mother-in-law, not a smother-in-law which means keeping your distance from the grandkids, even when you want to be right there. Try to take a step back; after all, we raise our kids with the expectation that they will meet someone else and live their lives together, so let them.

Let your Kids Make the Decisions (even if they are wrong)

It can be hard to step back and watch your child make a mistake or do something that you wouldn’t want them to do. But this is all a part of growing up and learning and without these mistakes, how will they learn. And you may discover that what you thought was a bad idea was actually the perfect road for your child to take.

Offer Advice Only When Asked

Try not to shove your opinions down their throats. Give your kids some credit for a bit of sense. After all, they are your kids aren’t they? Many children, as they get older, will start coming to you for advice anyway. After all, it only is a matter of time until they come to their senses and realise that you actually know a thing or two about the world let them come to this conclusion on their own.

Let Go, but Don’t Disappear

Mothers, let your kids go; spouses, let your partner still be part of his/her family. Growing up, getting married and having children is all about adding to the extended family, not about breaking it up. However it is important that the new family have some level of independence as well. Try to find a balance that works for both the old and the new.

Accept there is a New Boss

For years you were probably the centre of the family; after all, you had the kids growing up. But now things have changed and you will most likely need to adapt to the grandkids needs which means traveling to them, embracing the new holiday traditions and following the rules of someone else’s household.

 Embrace Change (and Kiss Traditions Goodbye)

When you are watching your grown child break the mould and do something completely different than what you have taught them, it can be hard to sit back and watch. However, it is important that you respect the needs and desires of not only your child but his family as a unit, including his spouse and his children.

Learn to Pick Your Battles

You may find that everything that your in-law says you have trouble agreeing with. However, is it really worth the fight stating your opinion, telling her why she is wrong and forcing an awkward situation? Most likely not. So don’t waste your breath fighting something that will only cause strife in the end.

Learn to Love (or at least keep your mouth shut)

Remember, your family is your family by chance, you are born into it. Friends, however, now that’s a whole different ball game.

Have any more tips to add? Please share with us what makes you an allstar mother-in-law in the comments below!