Our best friend often fills an emotional gap for us in our lives as women. Our girlfriends are so important. Often we think they will be there forever. But what happens when suddenly your best friend turns her back on you, it’s often something most of us never see coming. Let’s face it, it hurts. This person who knew you better than anyone, knew you inside and out and every aspect of your life is no longer there. What do you do? They say losing your best friend is worse than a relationship break up. This person was someone you had invested so much into, emotionally and physically – what do you do now?

It’s not easy, you wrestle with the little things, such as do you acknowledge her birthday? When exciting things or sad things happen you will automatically want to tell her or want her opinion – she’s always been there all these years. Then it hits you, you can’t, she’s not there anymore. It will sting that little bit, it will even tug at your heart. And even though you have other friends, telling someone else just doesn’t cut it they won’t get it like she did.

You might hear her comments through other people, comments such as “friends come and go.” Try not to take it to heart, she’s maybe trying to protect herself if she feels the need to pass comment she may be just as hurt by the end of the relationship as you. The awkwardness of mutual friends might cause problems. Loyalties will be divided, they might ask how she is and you will stumble to answer, you don’t want to seem bitter after all you were each other’s shadows once. You never realised how entwined your life was until now.

You feel bitter, angry and alone. Understanding why this has happened is a big question. Why don’t they want to be part of your life anymore? Sometimes it’s as simple as people just growing apart, others have a fight that they just can’t seem to resolve or maybe you do something that they can’t bring them self’s to accept or agree with. It can make you question the friendship in the first place. Were they ever really a true friend, was the friendship a healthy one looking back? Could you really have known them that well if you didn’t see it coming? Did it have to end like this, couldn’t we have fixed it? What have we even fallen out over? The sadness of what’s lost and now gone is overwhelming.

In this situation, there isn’t much you’re able to do if that friend ends your relationship and you have tried to fix it, or you’re none the wiser as to why it’s finished. As time goes on you will learn to accept it for what it was and forgive. Remember fondly the good times you shared because there was plenty of fun times and laughs you had together. The support you gave one another the special moments such as the birth of your children, weddings or when you needed them the most – they were there. Take away the positives to try to soften the hurt. Respect them and the friendship you had as many intimate secrets were shared between two friends. Learn from the experience – she helped develop and shape you into the person you are in some way and you never know maybe one day you might have just as awesome relationship with another person.

Have you ever lost or dumped a best friend? We’d love to hear your story.