10 Steps To Cope With Being Dumped

Getting dumped sucks, but the fact is that life doesn’t stop, so you need to figure out how to cope.

Luckily, we have some advice for you to help get you through a breakup regardless of how far along in that relationship you happened to be. So grab the ice cream, or a glass of wine, and start moving back into happiness.

1. Grieve Early

The first step in getting over any relationship is to take time to grieve for it. There’s a lot to grieve about, from the happy moments you’ll never have again with your partner, to a future that might not ever be how you’d imagined it, and so much in between. You have to be careful not to bury this grief early because it’s easier to get it out right at the start. Indulge in your grief, even if that means sitting in the tub and crying it out. You won’t be cured after doing it, but you’ll feel a little better.

2. Take A Digital Time Out

Relationships often play out on social networks, so if you’ve just been in one that’s ended, the best thing you can do is take a digital time out. There are a few reasons to do this. For one, you won’t be tempted to post anything hateful or embarrassing to your partner. For another, you won’t have to see them getting on with their lives when you feel like yours is crashing around you. Believe us, take a week if not more and just let yourself come to grips with it before you head online.

3. Invest In Yourself

Relationships take up a lot of a person’s time, usually in a good way. Unfortunately, when a relationship ends, it can often feel like there’s a lot of empty time, which can lead to a sense of uselessness. Combat this by starting a new hobby after your breakup, preferably something that betters you. This might be a gym membership, or even learning a new skill. It should not be attempting to watch the entire Netflix catalogue.

4. Don’t Make Any Major Decisions

Human beings are emotional creatures, and it can take some time after an emotional upheaval like a breakup to really feel like ‘ourselves’ again. That’s why it’s important not to make any major life decisions in the weeks immediately following a breakup. These include quitting your job or moving house or city. Basically, anything that can’t be easily reversed.

5. Avoid Contact With Your Ex

Avoiding contact with your ex is definitely on the list of how you get over your breakup. You shouldn’t be calling, texting, leaving soppy messages, sending emails, or ‘accidentally’ bumping into them in any way, shape or form. Doing this only makes it harder for yourself and risking backsliding or doing something you’re going to regret.

6. Find Someone To Listen

It’s important in the aftermath of a breakup that you take the time to go through your feelings. Sometimes, your friends are going to be there so you can debrief with them and work through your emotions, but if they aren’t, you need to seek out someone that will. Talking to a counsellor is not a failure, and sometimes, it’s necessary to have an unbiased third-party assist you in the process of moving on.

7. Learn From What Happened

We aren’t saying your relationship was a mistake, but in life, it is important to learn from things that go wrong. So, once your relationship is over, you should look at what went wrong, and the part that you might have played in it. That way, you’re able to improve your own relationship skills, and ensure that you build stronger relationships in the future.

8. Forgive

There might be a place for blame, and even for anger, in a relationship breakup, but at some point, you have to wonder what they’re worth. If you’re carrying all of those emotions around, you’re really just hurting yourself. That’s why it’s important to, once you’ve moved through the cycle of emotions, forgive both your partner and yourself for what happened. Then, you’re free to move on.

9. Create Your Own Community

Many things change when your relationship ends, but people don’t always realise that their community is one of the big things that changes. So in the weeks and months after a breakup, it’s important to nurture a community of your own, separate from your partner. People do tend to take sides in relationships, so take who you have and create a community you can rely on.

10. Treat Yourself Well

It’s easy to neglect your personal health in the midst of something as life-altering as a breakup. In some ways, taking care of yourself after a breakup is a little like taking care of yourself when you’re sick. Make sure you eat lots of wholesome foods, enjoy some time in nature, and get lots of rest. Recovery is a process, but you should come out better at the end.