For so many families in Australia now, the FIFO life is the norm. More often than not it’s Dad, but sometimes Mum, who travels away for work for extended periods of time. As the child of a FIFO household I know firsthand how it can affect the children in the equation and there are positives and negatives, as there is with everything.

Each family will cope differently as every family and situation is different, there are no hard and fast rules about how your household should deal with FIFO. One of the most important things to consider is the relationship the kids have with the parent who is always away for work. To maintain a strong relationship there needs to be adequate time for parent and child to bond while the parent is home.

Activities for the kids to look forward to when everyone is home keep them focused on the fact that the parent will be coming home regularly. These don’t need to be expensive just things you can all do together as a family. For kids, the weeks that Dad or Mum is gone can seem like forever and can make them quite anxious. Using a calendar for them to refer to can help to alleviate the worries of when the next home visit is.

When one partner spends so long away from home and each of you are used to your own routines and doing you own thing and it can all fall apart a bit when everyone is home. By making effort to maintain the household routine reduces disruptions on the kids and leads to less hassles for the parent left at home when the FIFO parent goes back to work. Yes you will need to bend a bit to make it work, but don’t bend over backwards.

Consistent parenting is another big challenge and very similar to routine. While one is away the other parent has their ways of disciplining, their rules and if that also goes out the window when everyone is home it is hell for the parent staying home. Sometimes the parent that travels becomes the ‘fun’ parent, the one who always says yes and never growls, leaving the other parent the ‘bad guy’. Both parents should discuss how to handle this to make sure you’re both on the same page.

When my dad travelled all the time there was no video calling, skype or picture messaging, we didn’t even have text. (Now I feel old!) It was hard for us to talk to him while he was away, he worked till late, couldn’t call until late and by then we were in bed. With all the amazing technology available now it is so much easier to stay in touch and can be used to listen to their stories of school and homework or the latest cool bug they found. Little people love the little things.

There are also some great products now to make your little ones feel a bit closer to the parent travelling even if they can’t speak to them or see them much while they are gone. Recordable teddy bears and story books are amazing and bring your voice right into their bedroom. Customisable FIFO parent dolls are available now, where a photographic image of the FIFO parent is printed onto a soft cuddly doll. Hi-Vis for kids is great too, tiny sizes of high visibility safety gear just like Mum or Dad wears while at work.

For kids that aren’t coping so well there are resources to help in so many forms. There are storybooks available now for children about the FIFO life, to help them understand and in turn cope better. A FIFO Families membership is great for helping to connect you to a network of other FIFO families and some fantastic family resources as well as great discounts on fun stuff to do with the kids. If you are really concerned about anxiety then it could be worth speaking to a school or independent counsellor.

In the whole FIFO journey communication is key, the whole family must always be communicating. Let your kids express how they feel, even when it’s not positive and make sure they know your listening. Address their concerns, kids worry a lot sometimes and if they are, for example worried about your safety, explain to them all the measures in place to keep you safe.

How does your family cope with FIFO, or Defence life? Has it been easy or hard for you?