The Modern Virgin Births

In the early days of man, a virgin birth was an event so miraculous that it spawned an entire religion of believers.

Now, thanks to science, it’s happening more often than you might think.

They call them virgin births, women who have never had a sexual relationship but are so eager to have a baby that they’re seeking out fertility doctors in order to have a baby through IVF.

Doctors in the United Kingdom claim that there have been at least 25 instances in the past five years where women in this circumstance successfully became pregnant and had babies and that the trend shows no sign of slowing down.

Interestingly, doctors have not included any homosexual individuals in this count, so all of these women are heterosexual women in their twenties who became virgin mothers.

Immediately after this announcement, the debate began to rage on all sides, picking apart the motives of the women to try and figure out what was going on.

Doctors involved with the unidentified patients note that many of them are young but feel that although they want to have a baby now, they still want to save sex for someone special. Others have admitted that their patients have a fear of sex that has either stopped them from participating in it within a safe relationship or has turned them off relationships all together.

Why It’s Wrong

There’s something about virgin births that irks the masses of modern society. Although we like to think that we’re accepting and flexible in the way we think about parenting, we still have issues with single mums raising kids, especially if they choose to take the father figure out of the equation all together.

In the case of the virgin mothers, it seems downright unnatural that women who have never experienced the necessary behaviours for conception will be able to become mothers. Josephine Quintvalle of the group Comment on Reproductive Ethics in the UK was particularly critical of this new trend:

“What is the child for these women? A teddy bear that they pick up off the shelf? The message from nature is for a male and female to have a child, and I am saddened that we are willing to distort this. This diminished role of the father is not desirable for the child.”

Child psychotherapist, Dilys Daws was also worried about the trend noting that the fact that the women were virgins suggested they were not emotionally mature to be close to someone in the way that sex requires. This may indicate a fear of close relationships that will ultimately damage the child involved.

It is a hard thing to wrap your head around, but the question we need to ask is this:  Can these women understand the true responsibility and consequences that childbirth might bring, having always been an outsider to the natural process?

Why It’s Right

Not everyone is against the virgin mothers, with doctors in particular, noting that women are counselled prior to being given the go-ahead for fertility treatment and that it’s hardly something that can be decided or undertaken on a whim. These women have their own histories and backgrounds, their own understanding with the concepts of sex and reproduction, as we all have. Does the act of sex really make you ready to have a baby? By the same logic, teenagers would be ready and waiting for babies at 16 and 17, and the age of onset for sexual is going down every year.

Laura Witjens, the chief executive of the National Gamete Donation Trust was supportive of the virgin mums.

“These women have the right to choose this path if they want to, but clinics do have a responsibility to consider why they want to do so.”

She also noted that, despite society’s criticism of the single women becoming a mother, these women were often better prepared socially, emotionally and financially.

The clinics involved were also very clear about their support of these mothers, and their faith in the system. They noted that doctors always carefully assessed the patient before taking them on, and there was not a case among the 25 where the women had visited the clinic on a whim wanting to have a baby. All of the patients understood the consequences and had been counselled by both the doctors involved and others. In the end, the greatest importance for the clinic is the welfare of the child.

The Future of Family

We live in a different world today than we did 10 years ago. It’s even a different world than it was yesterday, changing faster than ever. With that in mind, is it really a surprise that our concept of family is changing?

For many centuries the ‘traditional’ family had been the only option but now, single parents, co-parents, multi-parents, same-sex parents, step-parents and yes, virgin parents, are just another part of life. All of these different family types were met with criticism early on, all of them accused of breaking down the traditional family structure.

But we have adapted, and perhaps that’s what we need to do here as well.

Would you undergo a virgin birth?