They sneak into our homes disguised as cute little bundles of joy. They are completely useless and for what seems like eternity. We are basically at their beck and call. We will do anything to keep them happy. Well, quiet anyway. We feed them what they want to eat, at the temperature they like and the quantity they want. We mop up their vomit from just about every surface in the house. We clean their clothes, their room and even their bums. We continue this behaviour for years and then one day we say enough…no more.

This happens around the age of 13. We as parents decide these precious little beings are capable of some of these activities themselves. Mum decides they should now be able to pick up their dirty clothes and take them to the laundry. Not that hard really. Teenagers think “What the Hell….What’s her problem”. Dad thinks that he is entitled to a little help in the garden from the teenager who is sitting on the couch all weekend. Teenager thinks “What the Hell…. What’s his problem.

Teenagers aren’t a belligerent group.

Behind those vacant, half opened eyes a lot is going on. Parents are oblivious to this. All parents see is the way teenagers get around the house like a Zombie and sound like one too. Parents think how for years they have been pouring good money down the kids neck and getting very little back. They ask themselves, “Is having children a bad investment?”

So one day Mum or Dad or both make a decision enough is enough and all hell breaks loose. You see, we set this drama up ourselves. First, we do so much for them, then we become resentful and stop abruptly . Second, they just don’t see the world like we do. And third, the teenage years often coincide with the parents mid life crisis years and everyone has shit going on. Whatever the reason, planning and communication can help.

There are a few precautionary measures and solutions to existing disputes. Planning is crucial. This planning maybe done before you even have children. Too late, you say, but no it is never too late. Talking to your spouse or the other parent is important. It is imperative you have a united front against the dark side. It is genuinely difficult to stay calm when a teenager rolls their eyes at you or slams a door in your face. But, if you have a plan it is almost as if you have rehearsed it and you are ready.

One of the first things we can do is get your children to do age appropriate chores from very early in life. Three is a good age to start teaching pride in their environment and physical self. I am talking about brushing their own hair, hanging up their towel and picking up their dirty clothes etc. Explain the reason for doing the jobs and teach them to do them properly and to your standard from the start. Keep this going and increase the amount of jobs and the complexity as they age. Always remember that no one wants to be disliked so help them out. You are trying to create a civilised human that others will want to spend time with.

Teenagers can talk like neanderthals

Remember too, that even though teenagers can talk like neanderthals doesn’t mean they think like them. They do care about more than just food and sleep. They care about electricity for the Playstation, the internet access for the Playstation and who has touched the Playstation. They do also care about their parents. (because they pay for the Playstation etc). So if you choose your words carefully you can share some of your concerns.

Start early and you wont have the teenage dramas or at least limited amounts of them. They aren’t with you forever so enjoy.