Thinking back to your very first serious boyfriend or girlfriend can conjure up all kinds of images, both good and bad.

Teenage relationships are full of excitement, angst and embarrassment, but seriously, who would trade this experience?

Whether you started dating at 12, 16 or 20 will most definitely affect the way you feel about when your teenager is ready to start dating.

Some teenagers will be ready for serious boyfriend/girlfriend (or same sex) relationships a lot sooner than others; some will place more importance on school work or just having platonic relationships. The decision to allow your teenager to date is entirely up to you as a parent, but here are some facts about teenage dating in today’s society, and some tips on how to approach your teenager when they start showing an interest in dating.

Virtually Dating

Remember hanging out by your wall-mounted (probably rotary-dial) phone, waiting for that special someone to call?

Checking the answering machine, not letting anyone on the phone in case they might call? Walking or riding your bike past their house a million times on the off chance they would appear? Or ringing their house and hanging up when someone answered? (Don’t judge, we all did it once or twice!)

Even if you are a little younger and had the luxury of a cordless phone, call waiting and caller ID, teenage dating these days has come a LONG way since then. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, iPhones, Facetime and even teenage dating chat rooms all mean that most kids are communicating without their parents knowledge, let alone consent and actually speaking to the other teenager.

I remember my high school boyfriend being too intimidated by my father to call my house, nervously asking if he may please speak to me and then enduring the teasing background noise of my siblings as I dashed for the phone. Nowadays, you’ll be lucky if you even see the boy (or girl) your teenager is dating.

A friend of mine experienced this last week when a boy came to her house (in his own car) to pick up her 16 year old daughter. He pulled up in the driveway and rang her from his mobile to let her know he as waiting for her. No way buddy, that is my definition of tooting the horn. You want to date my daughter (or son), you get your backside inside my house and introduce yourself!

5 Tips on Teen Dating

How Young Is Too Young?

Experts suggest that teenagers under the age of 14 are simply too young to ‘date’. A lot of young teenagers start “going out” with each other as young as 10 these days, however these ‘relationships’ usually don’t extend much beyond a lot of playground gossip and playful teasing, with the occasional phone call or ipod message.

Ask the Question

If you think your child is dating someone without your knowledge, ask them. If you think your older teenager is wanting to start dating, has met someone, or is even dating already, simply ask them if they are. Over half of Australian teenagers admit to going out with a person of the opposite sex without their parents knowledge or permission, simply because they think their parents would not consent. As most teenagers will push boundaries and limitations in regards to acceptable behaviour, it is not unreasonable to be as informed as you can be when it comes to who they are socialising with, how and when.

Leave the Door Open

In more ways than one! Leaving the metaphorical door open for communication is imperative to keep your relationship with your teenager strong and shows your available to help if they face any problems or issues. Leaving the bedroom door open when your teenager has someone they are dating over is a literal term – this should be a non-negotiable rule.

Don’t Make it Hard On Everyone

Setting unrealistic and harsh rules is asking for trouble. Explain why you forbid certain activities, locations and times, don’t just say no. Being too restrictive causes rebellion; try to come to a compromise with your teenager. This will lessen the stress on you as a parent and the stress your teenager feels when they are out. After all, they are supposed to be having fun!

Teach Your Teenager

When you teenager does want to start dating, sit them down and reinforce the importance of self-worth and being themselves.

So many teenagers, especially girls, get caught up in what they think the other half of the relationship wants them to be. Emphasise the importance of not ‘buying’ peoples affections, having a voice when they think something is wrong and knowing when to say no, the attractiveness of confidence and remind them that this person liked them for who they are now, not who they can change to be.

Even though your teenager is still your child, they are growing to be an adult and need your trust and guidance to make the best decisions.

Teens fall in love fast and hard, and more than once your babies heart will be broken, but teenage relationships have been proven to provide invaluable life experience and form an integral part of developing a healthy sense of self.

They learn about different habits of the opposite sex, practice their communication and social skills, and become involved in new interests and hobbies. Teenage relationships also provide the opportunity for your teenager to learn how to negotiate, empathise, apologise and forgive as they develop emotionally and figure out who they are in a relationship.