When it comes down to it, parenting is far from over when your kids turn 18 or head out the door to start their own independent lives.
In some part of themselves, and in your heart, they’ll always be your babies. That being said, parenting children when they’re adults is not the same as parenting them when they’re young, so if you aren’t quite sure how to walk that line, here are some tips to help you along.
1. Know Them As Adults
It can be difficult for some parents to stop seeing their children as the little ones they were, and start seeing them for the adults they have become.
However, this change-over is absolutely necessary in building a strong relationship with your kids as adults, and it should really start in their late teen years. Get to know the things they like as adults, what their views and opinions are, and how they live their lives, and don’t make comments about how much they’ve changed since they were young. Change is inevitable, and we all do it!
2. Wait Until They Ask For Advice
Unsolicited advice is the bane of existence for many adult children, and unfortunately, too much of it is likely to harm your relationship with your grown up kids.
A little bit of advice is ok, as long as you work to frame it so it doesn’t come across as judgemental or critical, but otherwise it’s better just to wait until they come asking for your advice. To your kids, particularly in the early years of their adulthood, you’re a great source of knowledge, and if they need your help, they will ask for it.
3. Be Cautious About Money Lending
Parents love to help their kids along their path to success, and hate seeing them in tight spots, particularly financial ones. That being said, it pays to be pretty cautious when lending your children money, as it’s easy for this to become a sore point among families.
If your children want to borrow money and you do have the means, make sure there is a clear understanding in place for repayments as well as interest if you want that to be a part of the deal. It’s also worth remembering that siblings keep track, so if you accept one sibling’s need for money, others may be hurt if you don’t also lend to them.