It’s inevitable that when your little one starts venturing out into the world, they will make their own friends and develop a social circle. Whether it be as early as daycare or not until full-time school starts, your child will make friends with their classmates and eventually want to start having out-of-school play dates with kids, and parents, you don’t know. And whilst it’s important to encourage your child’s friendships and their developing social skills, it can be daunting to arrive at a strangers place not knowing the correct ‘etiquette’ when it comes to play dates.

Do I Stay Or Do I Go?

The major question, and this one can be tricky. Many a time have I invited a child over to play with the assumption that it will be just the child coming, only to have Mum and siblings expecting to stay for coffee for the duration, or vice versa. Some parents, (usually those who this is their oldest child and this is their first experience with play dates) will be hesitant to leave their child with a stranger and will expect to stay, and for others they may relish the opportunity to get rid of one kid for the day/morning/afternoon! The play date host may also feel a little overwhelmed being left with an unknown child. The best practice in this circumstance is to just ask the inviting parent, “Would you like me to stay on (whatever day)? Or shall I drop him/her off and pick them up at (time)?” This establishes who is coming to the house, makes sure the inviting parent has snacks and coffee for everyone and lets you know in advance if you need to block out your time or can make some other plans.

Bring A Plate

If your child has allergies or food intolerances, it is considered not only polite but responsible to pack a snack that your child can eat, especially if they are staying for a longer period of time. If you are staying for the playdate, grab something moderately healthy, especially if you are taking siblings. These days, most people send their child with some kind of sustenance, even if just to alleviate the drain on the hosts food stores from a house full of starving kids.

Pools and Parks

If your playdate is scheduled to occur at a public place, presume you will be staying to watch your own child, especially if it’s a busy public park or swimming pool. The addition of just one extra child can overwhelm even the most vigilant of parents and dangers such as deep water, traffic, strangers and opportunities to get lost or injured are so much harder to police when you have multiple kids.

Parties

Around the age of 6, kids can usually be dropped off at a party venue, depending on the child to adult ratio and the location (see Pools and Parks). But sometimes there is nothing worse than a parent who drops and runs when you are trying to run a chaotic kids party, now left with the responsibility of an extra child. Always check with the parent whether it is a parents and kids thing or just kids, and try not to take siblings to these events. Even with your very best intentions and pre-packed snacks, siblings will want to sample the party food and get in on the games, which can upset the birthday child and annoy the host.

Hosting At Home

If the play date is at your place, make sure you set some ground rules with your child beforehand and reinforce these when their friend comes over. Dont worry about looking mean or scaring the other child, some rules need to be in place to ensure safety around your home. Keep pets away and put away an valuables. Your child may know not to touch Nana’s lamp or pull Rover’s tail, but a new little friend will not.

Make Time For Clean Up

This is important. Kids can become resentful and hesitant about play dates when they associate them with having to clean up after everyone when they go. Countless times I have heard “But so-and-so made all this mess. It’s not fair!” If you are picking your child up from a playdate, allow an extra ten minutes to get them to help clean up or assist them. If you are hosting a play date, it’s a good idea to get the kids to start packing up about 10-15 minutes before the other parent is due to arrive. This also allows for the almost inevitable tantrum that occurs when your child/the other child is being picked up and they don’t want to go home!

Stay In Contact

Make sure you swap phone numbers and agree on a pick up time. You may feel that a playdate should only go for an hour or two but the other parent may have planned activities for the kids for the entire day, or you may feel it’s appropriate to pick your child up at 5pm when the other parent has other children to take to sports or lessons at this time. If you are running late to pickup, flick a quick text. If the other child, or your child, get unwell or injured during the course of the play date, having each others numbers make it easier to get in touch.

Have you got any more Play Date Decorum suggestions? How did you go about setting up your child first play date?