Overprotective Parents: What Not to Do

The world can be a very daunting place. So, as parents, we all want what is best for our children. It is also our job to protect them from harm.

We all love our kids right, but are we creating a generation that cannot do or think for themselves. While sitting at the pick-up at school, I heard a child telling another parent, he was taking up surfing, to which the parent replied, “Oh, Jonny (her son) was not allowed to as a shark might eat him.”  I did a double take. She was indeed very serious. How does putting the element of fear into a child help them to grow and become functioning adults?

‘Helicopter Parents’

I’m sure most of you would have come across some overprotective parents at some time or maybe you are willing to admit you might be one — the parent who claps every time the baby farts, the parent of the child who didn’t win the game but still brought him a prize cause he stood on the field, go to any child’s birthday party now and everyone wins a prize, because we wouldn’t want anyone to feel left out with only one winner and everyone must get a party bag.

I grew up in the UK and when you left a party, you were lucky to get a blob of cake wrapped in a serviette at the end. When did these children feel like it’s their God-given right. As adults, we are creating these kids to believe they need recognition for every aspect of their little lives.

I’m sure you’ve seen that overprotective parent they now call ‘helicopter parents’ hovering about their little cherub. They are the ones who take over, not allowing their kids to explore their own little world that’s called childhood.

Effects of Being an Overprotective Parent

More often than not, protecting children from everything achieves the opposite.

These kids can suffer from anxiety and create fear in the child.  The child fears the day they have never seen. They often question as they get older their ability to make decisions and even be accountable for their actions. It can stunt their maturity.

What Should be Done

Yes, children should be praised and nurtured, but they also need to learn to fall and fail and to pick themselves up in order to grow as a person. It’s alright to make mistakes. It’s ok to experience rejection, not everyone likes everyone in life, and to feel emotions such as jealousy is natural.

It’s how we learn to conduct ourselves and react that’s important. With these types of life experiences a child can learn to develop values, responsibility, courage and how to develop their self-esteem.

How to Protect Your Child and Not Overdo It

Nobody would say you can’t protect your children. In the world we live in now, you have to make them more aware of the dangers around them and the ones that come right into their worlds because of technology.

• Make them understand, arm them with knowledge not fear, help them to use what you have taught them and for them to be able to achieve things for themselves.
• Teach them that it is ok to ask for help. There are times as a parent where you can help them and they will need it.  There will be times it will break your heart to see them go through things in life.
• Learn to know when it’s time to step in or step back.
• Know that as parents, we too are not perfect and we are always learning to, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
• Build their confidence from a young age, teach them humility and reassure them in their decisions.
• And most importantly, always make sure they know how much they are loved, no matter what.

Are you an overprotective parent?