Part 2: Loving Your Child

Love, turns out kids need that shit. This is totally new information for me, and I’m sure many other parents out there who had no idea that this emotion even appeared among the rage, sadness and uncontrollable binge-eating that currently makes up the average parenting experience. Let’s learn just how you love your child.

Learn To Listen To Them: I could learn to listen to children, or I could just play a skipping song over and over again, because that’s essentially the same thing. Childrearing is basically “Hey mum, hey mum, hey mum” for years until you die.

Treat Your Child With Respect: Yes, respect. I’ve heard about this before, but I admit when when I’m wrestling the liquor chocolates out of my toddlers grip there’s not much of that to be found anywhere.

Know You Can Never Love Your Child Too Much: I’m pretty sure that children, and many teenagers, all over the world will disagree with this. I know I can’t wait for the withering glare that follows my statement of “I love you” at the school gate.

Be Involved In Your Child’s Daily Life: Just how can a person be a parent and not be involved in their child’s daily life? Really WikiHow, I want to know.

Encourage Independence So I should be involved, but also encourage independence? I might laugh out loud at your suggestion that I should allow my child to dress themselves and choose their own activities. How does eating raw cookie dough while sitting naked in the kitchen sound?