Do You Have A Favourite Child?

Well do you? I’m not really sure if I do or if it’s just that one of them has been around longer than the rest so I’m more used to that one, or that one has annoyed me a little less on a particular day!

My mother has one. His name is Golden Boy. Now, a few facts about Golden Boy which may shed some light as to how he arrived on his pedestal. Golden Boy is the youngest of six children brought up in a semi-rural coal mining town with not a lot of money. Golden Boy was born prematurely, had major thyroid problems which left him looking like a skinned rabbit, and was named after an uncle which had passed away. Poor kid really arrived with a loaded barrel.

It’s perhaps motherhood’s dirtiest little secret, favouring one child over another.

Favouritism is usually not intentional and can happen for a variety of reasons. Maybe one kid is the most well-behaved in the brood, especially talented, or has an inexplicable bond with a parent. And often times the opposite can be true: If one child has behavioral problems, he can become the favorite because he requires extra attention.

In the case of Golden Boy, his start to life was so rough, and perceived by my mother to be her fault by giving him a cursed name. The rest of us, some as old as 18 by then, could see why he needed the extra attention, were enamored with his cute button nose and only make slight jokes 16 years on about his position (which he proudly holds) in the family.

And whilst it may be obvious that favouritism isn’t ethical or even a conscious act, studies show that showing more love to one kid, harms more than just the “golden child”””it damages the entire family unit, causing increased mental health problems in children such as aggression, attention, and emotional problems.

Generally, parents really try their best to be fair to their children. Kids are very perceptive to how they’re treated in comparison to the rest of the family. Older children are often able to understand why one sibling may need more attention at any given time but it’s still important to remember that spending extra time with one child could mean others feel left out.

Krissy Hacker is a wife and Mama of 2, mad gardener, crafty lady, confectioner and fabulous cook. Keen on old school ways of doing things she’d do anything to get out of housework!