Mum Confession: I’m Coming Out As Anti-Vac

At SAHM, we love to hear from our audience, even when their views don’t necessarily align with our own.

Recently we received this letter from an anonymous mum in our community, on her decision to come out as anti-vac. We wanted to share it with you.

I’ve always considered myself a pretty normal mum. You know, two kids, house with a mortgage, hubby works and I love being a stay at home mum. Yep, we’re pretty normal, except that recently I’ve decided to share something about us that is definitely against the grain.

I’m anti-vac.

“When my kids were young, I realised that vacuuming was unnatural and putting them in danger, and I decided to give it up for the health of our family.

My husband was harder to convince, having been pro-vac his entire life, but we’ve never looked back. I haven’t vacuumed my home in almost 10 years, and we’re happier, healthier and more wholesome because of it. Instead of focusing on the unnatural cleaning of our home, we focus on cleaning our minds and spirits. We know it will keep us safe from issues, and our belief drives us.

You’re probably wondering what it was that turned me off vacuuming, what motivated me to be anti-vac. My mum was a vacuumer, and so was my dad.

They never worried about the impact that their pro-vac lifestyle would have on me or my siblings. I mean, we all turned out ok, but you just never know. I found a Facebook group full of really enlightened mums who totally changed the way I looked at my vacuum. It revolutionised my life.

I know the health professionals say that parents should be pro-vac, but I’ve done my own reading on the internet, and I now know the massive risk that vacuums put on my family, particularly my kids. Doctors might have decades of medical knowledge and experience, but I’ve spent literally hours pouring over search results on Google, and reading foreign medical journals that I’ve translated online, so I know my stuff.

There’s a conspiracy going on, and I’ve decided to become aggressively anti-vac, and I hope you all decide to join me, for your own safety.

Big-Hoover Conspiracy

It’s Big-Hoover, a conglomerate of vacuum producing companies that are hiding the truth from us. They want us to think that vacuuming is normal and natural, but it’s not. In my grandmother’s day, people didn’t vacuum, and the rates of disease were much lower. Kids didn’t get autism, people just labelled them as trouble and locked them at the back of the class or kicked them out of school entirely. I suppose you could say it was a simple time.

Now, vacuums and the pro-vac lifestyle is taking over. People are trying to normalise vacuuming, to the point that some in our society would even consider inviting robot vacs into their homes, endangering their children’s health with their mindless cleaning. Can’t you see the truth? Big Hoover is profiting from our obsession with a pro-vac lifestyle. We’re all pawns in their vacuuming game, guinea pigs to their experiments in cleanliness, and frankly I’m sick of it.

Is it really a surprise that so many children are developing issues around the time that mums start having the energy to vacuum again? I don’t think so! The studies that I’ve read suggest that vacuuming can just be too much for kids to deal with, that it overloads their systems. I really agree with that, because in the days before I went anti-vac, every time I vacuumed, my kids would just immediately make a massive mess. Seems like a distress response to me.

It’s nobody’s business but mine whether or not I vacuum anyway. I mean, I invite other people into my home, which is a veritable pig-sty thanks to my anti-vac lifestyle, but that’s still my choice and I won’t change. After all, there’s no proof that vacuums don’t cause long-term health problems. Science has never proven otherwise, and if it did, those studies would probably be funded by Big Hoover, which means they’re just a part of the conspiracy.”

For those enlightened among us, the truth is clear enough. Vacuuming is the source of every single problem that we have as a society, and the time has come to make a change. Embrace the anti-vac lifestyle and spread the message.

Vacuuming sucks.