Mother’s Group: The Good, The Bad and The UGLY!

Are you a mum? Or do you know someone who is a mum? If you said yes to either of those questions, then chances are, you’ve been to or heard about the mother’s group. Mother’s group, for the uninitiated, is a gathering of moms (duh) where they can share stories, advice and just general camaraderie.

But like everything in life, there are good and bad aspects to the mother’s group – so today I’m going to break it down for you!

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For a lot of women, a mother’s group is a true blessing in disguise and they wouldn’t survive being a new mum without it.

Being a new mum is hard enough without having to worry about making friends. But for many women, finding a supportive group of fellow mothers is essential to getting through the early days and weeks. A mother’s group can provide a much-needed sense of community, as well as practical advice and support.

Unfortunately, not all mother’s groups are created equal. Some can be cliquey and exclusive, while others are simply not a good fit. For some women, the experience of trying to find a supportive mother’s group can be negative and even downright scary.

But with a little persistence and patience, it is possible to find a group that feels like a true blessing in disguise.

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How Mother’s Groups Works

If you’re a mom, you know that motherhood can be a lonely experience. You may feel like you’re the only one going through certain challenges or that you don’t have anyone to talk to about your experiences. That’s where mother’s groups come in.

Mother’s groups are a great way to connect with other moms who understand what you’re going through. They can provide support, advice, and friendship. Plus, they’re a great place to learn new things and make connections that can last a lifetime. If you’re thinking about joining a mother’s group, here are some tips on how to get started.

How you get assigned to a mother’s group

In many cases, hospitals assign new mothers to a group to meet up with in the local area. This happens in the first few weeks after your baby is born.

Who might be in the group?

The first few meetings of a mother’s group are often hosted by a maternal and child health nurse. The mothers can be a mixed bunch in terms of age, background and interests, but what you all have in common is that you’re mums, and your babies will all be very close in age.

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The Good

There are many pros in favour of joining a mother’s group, they are a fantastic way to help mums transition into life with a new baby.

1. Advice – You get expert information and guidance.

2. Friendships – You meet other mums who live near you and often have things in common.

3. Sanity –  It gets you out and about of the house for adult conversation.

4. Your child can also make lifelong friends.

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The Bad

Every mother’s group is different and so is the experience. There are some negative things that some mums MIGHT come across.

1. Bullying – Unfortunately some bullies never grow out of their nasty streak and can show up in your mother’s group.

2. Comparison and competitiveness – Seeing a bunch of mums who all look amazing with babies that they claim are sleeping through the night at three weeks can be super deflating for those of us who haven’t showered for a few days are getting NO sleep.

3. Judgemental Biatches – So little “Johnny” isn’t sitting up yet or hasn’t got his first tooth, Karen won’t be happy with that and will give you a thousand reasons why her little “George” has developed much earlier and is much smarter even at a few months old.

The Ugly

Sometimes things can get really nasty. Like these two women who decided to have a punch-up after a disagreement over COVID.

Two women from a Sydney mothers’ group were taken to hospital after a group argument about coronavirus escalated into a violent brawl.

According to Northern Beaches Police, the women, both aged in their 30s decided to “resolve their issues in person”.

One woman reportedly brought another member of the mother’s group for backup.

The argument allegedly escalated from verbal to physical abuse involving pushing, slapping and hair pulling.

Getting there…

For a lot of women, a mother’s group is a lifesaver. It’s a place to meet other new moms, share advice and experiences, and generally just survive the transition into motherhood. But for some women, mother’s groups can be negative and even downright nasty.

Some women feel like they’re being judged all the time, or that they’re not good enough mothers. Others find the competition among mothers to be overwhelming and detrimental to their mental health. And still, others simply don’t click with the other mothers in their group. If you’re struggling with your mother’s group, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone.

There are plenty of other women out there who feel the same way. Talk to your friends, family, and fellow moms to see if they’ve had similar experiences. You might also consider finding a new group or starting your own mom’s group that is more inclusive and supportive. Whatever you do, don’t give up on finding your village of mothers – because you definitely need it.

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The Kind of Mums You Meet at Mother’s Group

• ‘I’m not judging’ Judgy Mum
• The Organiser Mum
• Stressed-Out Mum
• ‘I don’t want to be here’ Mum
• Facebook or Instagram Mum
• Panicked Mum
• Snobby Mum
• Chill Mum

Other options…

If you’re having difficulty bonding with the women in your group, you can try alternatives like joining your local playgroup, visiting story time at your local Library or signing up for Gymbaroo.

Or why not check out one of the millions of online support groups to see if that suits you better. Better yet, do all the above and see what feels most comfortable for you and your bub.