Giving Love With Adoption

Kate: What information were you told about him?

Alisha: On the Monday, Ben and I were provided with a profile giving personal details (name, date of birth, type of birth e.g.vaginal delivery and place of birth). Also developmental milestones.

It also had information about health including weight, routine audiology screening and immunisations.

Background information provided was around the birth mother’s pregnancy and history as well as the birth father’s history (contact post child’s birth), and also the extended family’s interactions post birth.

The profile also had information about what future contact the birth family would like to have with our son (visits, letters, photos).  We are hopefully meeting the birth mother in a few weeks time; really looking forward to this so we can ask a lot more questions about family history and her likes/dislikes, so we have more information to provide him with later on.

Once we accepted the adoption we were given photographs of our little man! Initial thoughts were “too cute” and what a chubby little man you are!

We went out to the foster carer’s house on this day to meet him, he was lying in his cot looking up at us and when Ben said, “Hey mate” he smiled and giggled at him! It was love at first sight!

Most of my friends have children (biological) and say that when they saw and held them for the first time they were instantly in love, well we felt the same! Maybe not as bonded just yet but totally in love with our son.

Kate: Tell me about the day you could bring him home. Were you nervous, excited, filled with an unbelievable love?

Alisha: Our transition took place over about five days.  We would spend a few hours with him and the foster carer, and then take him out for a few hours, then the foster carer brought him to our house for a few hours, and then his first sleep over! I hated leaving him every day of the transition and even though I knew he was in amazing hands, as a mum I knew he should be with us.

When his foster mum finally brought him to our home (Friday), Ben could not have been more proud to get him out of the car and show him our home and his new bedroom! Of course we were nervous (first-time parents) and then the added pressure of … will he like us? Will he love us as much as we love him? Will he be traumatised by leaving the only mum he has truly known since birth (his foster mum)?  But our worries quickly eased as we got into daily routines and our bond became stronger.  He was always a very happy and smiley baby (never crying much) and has very quickly adjusted into life with us.

Kate: How has life changed for you?

Alisha: A lot less sleep! Haha..  Lots of fun and laughter in the house every day! And my husband now sings a lot (nursery rhymes mainly).  As a dad he will do anything to get a giggle or a smile out of our little man! So much enjoyment from seeing our son grow and develop.

On a serious note, all of the things that once seemed important (work, netball training etc), now don’t matter as much.

I have a very important job to do and that is being the best mum that I can.

Kate: What is next for your family? Another baby?

Alisha: Ben always jokes that he would like at least three children (all boys of course)! Like we have control over these things!  It is a requirement to wait at least two years before you can add to your family (biological or adoption) after you are placed with a child and we are very happy with that.  Time to bond and attach with our little man (most of this happen within the first two years of a child’s life)… we are in no hurry! Just want to enjoy our son.

Kate: Would you adopt again, or try to have a baby naturally?

Alisha: We would be open to both, whatever chooses us!  When we applied for adoption and permanent care we were open to taking a sibling group as well (something that is discussed in your social worker interviews).  This is more common in permanent care with a second child (if there is one) being place with its sibling this can be years later.  We absolutely would love to try and have biological children, as we know adoption is so rare and would love to expand our family.