How To Have A Job AND Look After Your Kids

Prior to having my own child, I thought SAHM’s had the life!!  I think I was possibly a little naive.  If I could go back in time and talk to that new mummy version of myself now, I would tell her “Don’t give up your job Samantha. Get back to work as soon as you can.”  There are only so many mornings you can pass the time at playgroup, playgrounds or in coffee shops with other mothers; only so many times you can take a trip to the supermarket or a shopping centre.

I was 35 years old and pregnant with my first (and only) child. I wanted to be at home with her after she was born. After the standard 12 months leave, I wasn’t ready to return to work and my daughter was less than 12 months old.  I was finding motherhood challenging, return to work options were limited and I felt pressured to return full time therefore, I chose to resign. I didn’t even bother to challenge my employer and put forward a proposal which would suit me. I didn’t even particularly like my job and it wasn’t cost-effective for me to continue. My partner was the higher income earner and he paid the bills so his job came first.

I did contemplate returning to work for some time but, there was always a huge list of potential challenges to consider which has prevented me seeing it through. A lot of it was guilt; will my daughter suffer without her mum? What if she gets sick? When will I clean the house? How will we afford the costs of day care? How the hell am I going to manage everything!?

The answer was always there. I needed to work in a job that would capitalise on my skills and competencies and provide the fulfilment I needed. I needed to get back into the workforce but, if it wasn’t a job that was compatible with my new home life, I may as well not bother.

In my situation, I had to accept that I needed to start back at work on a part time or casual basis so I could still participate in normal life at home while I eased back into life at work.

Is The Commute Worth It?

I think wise advice is to try and find a workplace close to home. The less time you spend commuting, the more time you will be able to spend with your family. I presently combine working from home with a commute a couple of time per week. Sometimes, you can’t have everything!

Set Your Limits and Stick With Them

You absolutely must be upfront and open with your employer about your limitations.  You need to be clear about what hours you can work. If you are unable to work evenings, weekends or over time, you need to speak up. Although, being so open may make it difficult to find a job, it is better to spend longer searching for the job if the outcome is a new job in a supportive work environment. When you find that right environment and the right employer, you will know!

Employee Benefits

You should enquire at potential workplaces as to whether they have family-friendly policies that may be helpful in your personal life. Some employers provide on-site day -care and other benefits for employees. If you seek out the right employer, you are already one step ahead.

To be perfectly honest, staying at home with a child all day, every day is probably the most challenging, stressful and exhausting job I have ever had. And, for me, it can be really boring and isolating. Sometimes I have felt invisible, not important, and lonely and I remember feeling angry a lot too, wondering why did this happen to me?! I will never find a job, or a life, ever again!

I love being with my daughter but, I want to work as well. I need the social contact, the sense of achievement, independence and personal growth.

How did you handle working and having kids? How did you feel about returning to work?

Sources:

www.bodyandsoul.com.au

www.careerone.com.au

www.careermums.com.au