Have You Considered Becoming a Foster Parent?

Setting boundaries

While it is heart-warming to see the children change under your guidance, Rochelle said it was also difficult to define the boundaries as a respite carer.

“One little boy asked if I could be his mummy and then the second time he visited with us, he called me mummy, but he already had a full time carer. You do get these ones that are so full of love and they want to stay with you, but you have to explain that although we’d love to have you, this is why and it literally isn’t personal,” she said.

While respite care is usually weekends up to a few weeks, other levels of care include short term of weeks or months and long term placements, which can be years or become indefinite depending on the circumstances.

True love

In January, the Royce family dynamic changed when they took the leap into becoming full time carers following an unplanned emergency placement, which saw a young woman join the two regular teenage girls Rochelle and Daran cared for one weekend.

“It felt like when we first met, there was an instant connection. I just can’t explain it,” Rochelle said. There was no hesitation when asked if they would consider a full time placement for the young woman, who now lives with them.

Lachlan was just six years old when the family first began the foster care enrolment process and he was interviewed just as extensively as his parents with questions like ‘How would you feel sharing your mummy?’ and ‘If the child staying with you upsets you, what will you do?’ so it could be determined whether he was also 100% on board.

What are the requirements of becoming a foster carer?

Life Without Barriers operations manager Fiona Pascoe said the key ingredients needed to become a foster carer of any level were an honest willingness to have children in your life and the ability to care for them.

You also need to be over 18 and be eligible to apply for a Blue Card.

“Every demographic that you can think if is able to be a carer if they so choose. We have singles, couples, empty nesters and same sex couples and we always have a desire to attract Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander carers who can provide cultural stability,” she said.

Yes, police checks are involved as you are caring for children after all, but you can push the opt-out button at any time.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard a carer say that it’s easy. Being removed from your parents and everything you know, even if it hasn’t been the best life for them, is still a traumatic experience for the child. It is all about consistency, creditability and helping a young person learn to trust an adult mainly because they have been disappointed by adults for most of their lives. Carers try with amazing strength and amazing insight into what these kids need and we help you every step of the way,” Fiona said.

Being open

Fiona said the lines of communication were always open to the parents of children that had been removed from their care and the ultimate aim of the government departments was to reunite the child with their families as soon as the parents were both willing and able to care for them.

“Even with long term placements, there is still contact with the parents because at the end of the day, mum and dad will always be mum and dad,” she said.

Rochelle admitted it had been hard at times to encourage children in her care to be open to having a better relationship with their parents as they worked through their issues.

“It is very hard to be open as a carer and to show them you are open to that communication as well. You need to be completely supportive of the situation and to be positive about it and encourage them to talk to their parents if they are comfortable in doing so.”

Step by step

Becoming a foster carer can take between three and six months depending on the size of your family and the level of care you wish to provide.

1. Fill out an expression of interest with a child safety organisation or relevant government department.
2. Attend an information session.
3. Have a household safety inspection
4. Apply for a Blue Card
5. Every member of the family will go through interviews to ensure everyone is on board with the idea of fostering
6. Pre-service training

Just do it

Rochelle said the journey was full of highs and lows, but she would move to a farm and have 20 children if she could also keep her husband in the process!

“When the kids meet you and you meet them, there is a natural desire to connect and care for them and they can tell. If you have room in your heart for children, just do it. The foster experience is amazing and life-changing for you and it is life-changing for the kids so it is well worth it.”