7 Unavoidable Parenting Moments

3.Your Child Will Have A Nappy Explosion In The Car Seat

Just so you can yank the whole bloody thing out and strip the fifteen bits of padding and covering off of the smelly plastic frame, wash it all and have it drying in the sun before you put it all back together, strapped in and ready for the 8am kindy run the next day. But  remember, you get to find the missing toys and car dvd remote and bits of apple underneath. But whatever, you’re an expert at this now at this now (see number 4) and toilet training and sudden onset gastro will present plenty more of these moments for you to relive it all again soon anyway!

2. Your Child Will Try To Pee Their Pants In Public

Not a surprise really, not even a biggie either, but just interesting to note how children will deny their urge to pee repeatedly until you are in a place with access to a total of zero toilets. You can ask seven times before you leave the house ‘Do you need to wee?’ or suggest ‘Just try’ but not until you have everyone buckled in and pulling onto the road, will a small person finally admit defeat to war they have been waging on their ‘busting’ bladder. I’m kinda lucky to have boys in this situation. Doesn’t make much difference though in the middle of the supermarket, when they will always wait until you have filled up from the frozen section, but before you’ve made it through the checkouts, so you go for  the mad dash (why are the toilets always so far away?) with the baby in the carrier and them on your hip, to make it to the land of porcelain treasure chests. Good thing chicken nuggets re-freeze”¦don’t they?

1. Poop

You knew it was coming. Having a baby is the forerunner to doing absolutely everything for them”¦for possibly longer than you expected, especially regarding poop. In the early days there’s poop everywhere- on them, on you, on your clothes, and even under your nails. It just seems to explode out of them! Then move onto toilet training and it’s either stuck and you try everything to move it along until it’s flying out everywhere again, this time usually on the floor or furniture. Occasionally, some even hits the target in the potty or loo…very occasionally…and once again you find yourself wine-singing!

Yeah, you’re not alone!