What You Haven’t Been Told About Life With A Baby

Every new mother has those days where it may seem like having a baby was not the best idea in the world. These days usually consist of a crying infant, a house filled with dirty clothes and weeks of unsettled sleep. If you are having one of those downer days, then chin up. Have a read through these 25 truths that baby experts have conveniently forgotten to mention when they have written about the ‘joy of parenting.’ Hopefully it can put a smile on your face.

• You will experience an uncanny smell for poo
• If you manage to finish an entire meal interrupted, then consider it a good day
• You will most likely have several half-finished text messages on your phone and half written emails in your draft folder, that is, if you’ve managed to turn on the computer in the first place. And most of the emails do not have a single capital letter in them.
• You have forgotten to brush your teeth”¦ and hair, for the last three days
• 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep is brag-worthy
• You find that you and your partner only communicate with whispers after the baby goes to sleep”¦ just in case.
• You most likely skip the conditioner, every time
• You have a bucket of toys beside the toilet
• You can’t remember the last time you took a bath, by yourself, and without the presence of baby spit up or half eaten particles of food
• You become an expert at one handed typing
• If you do get the chance to update your Facebook status, it will most likely be about baby poo, baby sleep or baby teeth
• Over-night DVD rentals are no longer an option you become realistic and only hire weekly rentals and sometimes even finish them.
• You’ve come to enjoy the taste of cold tea
• You often fall asleep feeling like you are on a boat rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth
• You find yourself singing “I’m a little teapot” to yourself when trying to get to sleep
• On the bedside table, at any time, you will find one of the following a parenting book, a nappy, a dummy or the baby monitor.
• Your husband suggests that you have sex tonight and you actually laugh in his face
• A clean shirt only has one stain on the front (and smells okay)
• Cleaning the house consists of shutting the doors to the different rooms (bathroom, laundry room, bedroom)
• You walk with a slight jiggle in your step or sway back and forth in the supermarket, even when you are not cradling and trying to sooth a baby
• Deodorant becomes a luxury
• Shopping online becomes your ‘escape’ from home
• You start planning things based on how long until baby is due for her next nap
• You can’t remember the last time you washed the sheets, and you really don’t care
• A good day is when the baby has a decent nap; a great day is when you do too