PARENTING BABIES

Are You A Mum If You Don’t Actually Give Birth?

4 min read
Are You A Mum If You Don’t Actually Give Birth?

Hell yes, and any idiot out there who disagrees, is well, an idiot. It is true adopting and giving birth is not the same, but the value of motherhood shouldn’t be gauged by blood alone.

Sandra Bullock recently posted a heartfelt message on her Facebook page and what it meant being a mum to her, and it had nothing to do with giving birth.

Sandra says:

“I’m tired of hearing from everyone that he is not my child, that he is not my blood. That I am a so called “Adoptive Mother”.
I am a Mother. I need no other label or prefix. I know I’ve adopted him and I am proud of it. He may not have my eyes, he may not have my smile, he may not have my skin tone, but he has all my heart. A mother is a person who raises, loves and provides for the child. It doesn’t matter if you share the same blood or not.

I hold my son in my arms and thank God for bringing him to me. If the standard route for creating a family had worked for me, I wouldn’t have met this child. I needed to know him. I needed to be his mother. I know now why all those events happened. Or didn’t happen. So I could meet this little boy. He is, in every way, my son.

I enjoy Motherhood now. If all of a sudden someone said, “You have five more kids”, I’d be totally OK with it.
So guys Share this if you love your Children who are lucky to have you and to have a beautiful home. Let’s hope that Everybody reads this especially those who consider adoption as a Taboo and are against it. It’s perfectly fine to adopt. It is a gift of Life. The desire of your heart can give a child a home.”

Well said!

Sandra has two children which she adopted, Louis, 6 and Laila,4.

You know what, who says you have to give birth anyway? There are thousands and thousands of children in Australia, and all around the world who can no longer be brought up by their birth families, for various reasons. There are also thousands of loving people with stable homes to offer them a safe and happy place to live, grow up in a place without fear, food on the table and clothes on their back. We shouldn’t be judging these people or look sideways and say, “oh but he’s not your blood”.

My heart aches for all the children that don’t have what my kids have, and when I meet mums who are foster mums or who have adopted their kids, I am truly fascinated by them, and would love to know their story, and what brought them to their happy ending.

I also think about all the innocent kids that have been brought into this world by mums with addictions, barely able to care for themselves, who continue to have more kids only to have them taken off her when she can no longer adequately care for them. It breaks my heart. Adopting, fostering and giving a child a home and a mother, deserves a medal in my book.

When you’re given the chance to become a mum and in whatever form you were given it, you grasp hold of it and cherish it with both hands. Becoming a mother is possibly one of the most fulfilling things a woman can do, hands down. And I’m not saying you should be defined by motherhood, but for fucksakes it is a privilege.

Your road to becoming a mother can also be a heart breaking journey so however your child found its way to you is not even a topic for discussion. IVF, surrogacy, adoption, or fostering. You’re still a mother and it’s how you love, not your DNA that makes you a mum. You don’t need the same colour skin or eyes.

It’s how you love and look after your child and keep them safe from the big bad world that is what makes a mum.

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Michaella Tasker

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