Avert Your Eyes! Avert Your Eyes! Oh The Shame”¦

Here we are, it’s 2016, our world is all connected up with the interweb thingy, lots of technological advancement stuff is happening and Mums are breastfeeding in public.

Again? Still? Now? Really? Still? I know, crazy times…

I’m perplexed about a couple things, one is that Pluto may become a planet again (I miss it, I do) and the other is what got the expert peanut gallery on-line commentators knickers twisted again”¦.public breastfeeding.

The ongoing battle being good and stupid continues.

And crap, if they’re not up the mums who can’t breastfeed or choose not to, they’re laying into the ones who can and do.

It’s not like anyone is asking to sit in a restaurant and order a meal with their vagina on display, that’d probably cause less fuss as long as no one was helping themselves to dessert!

Even Google is offended, type in breastfeeding and what’s your first offer? Cover. Yup. Cover.

Watch How People React To Breastfeeding in Public in Joe Salad’s Social Experiment.

Gah and sigh”¦.

Two Nips Thanks!

Righto, I’ve personally never understood why putting a nipple in a baby or toddler’s mouth to give essential nutrients or comfort causes such a shit storm. Seriously dude, it’s a nipple, bet you’ve got them, hell I’ve got two (and they’ve been out and about plenty of times) and some lucky ducks have a third just for showing off at parties. Half the population will find these nipples attached to breasts of varying sizes, plenty of which will be used to sell pretty much anything from cars to cricket bats and others which will, weirdly enough, be used to feed a baby. Some of them have actually done both. So versatile!

The original intent of the usage of breasts is not what causes the dramas, it is, of course, the public placement of the mama’s and their partially exposed milk-delivering breast. Low-cut, high bap-exposure tops are a-okay, see-through won’t be dissed either, but don’t you dare to feed a child from those ok?. Hells To The No!

As I read some of the troll comments going around, I can’t help but picture an invisible stage and microphone has been set up for all the moronic, ignorant twats of the world to jump up and express (see what I did there) how ‘disgusting and gross’ breastfeeding in public is to them.

And Then I Say Three Words

Fuck Off Arsehats!

And then I laugh at the dumbshits. Mainly because they make themselves look dumber and shittier line by line, but mostly because I’m pretty sure of two things:

Their mother probably fed them in public at the town meeting or Nirvana concert and
They are gonna eat some serious big fat humble pie when they have their hungry, screaming baby to contend with in the middle of the supermarket sometime in the next ten years.

Would You Like A High-Five…In The Face?

What I do not find funny is that these careless, uneducated and uncaring no-names, are leaving emotional scars on precious mums trying to do the right thing for their precious baby. Not all breastfeeding mum’s can alternate between the defiant ‘Don’t fuck with me, this baby sat on my bladder for 9 months, your words won’t do shit’ and the haughty ‘I’m so good at this I can juggle cats at the same time’ looks whilst giving off airs of confidence.

For many it’s brand-new and getting a hungry baby attached to (those offensive) nipples at the drop of a bra is scary and requires much fumbling and re-trying. Thoughtless, rude comments often lead to maternal stress, decreased milk supply and early cessation of breastfeeding. It’s really serious stuff.

Let me break down for you the very important reasons babies get fed from boobs at random times in random places:

Babies get hungry quickly, they need to eat. Like when adults get hungry, they eat.The difference being babies can’t wait as they have teeny-tiny stomachs. The adults believing otherwise have teeny-tiny brains.
Babies get thirsty quickly, hydration is super-important. Like when adults get thirsty, they drink. Adults do not hide in a corner of a toilet and have a drink. Neither do babies.
Babies need comfort. Not just a hug and a kiss. I mean the kind of comfort an adult gets from a chocolate bar or a glass of wine or seven cigarettes, that kind of sooth-my-nerves kind of comfort. Breast milk does that better than anything.
Babies get tired. Going to sleep can be a difficult transition time for humans. Adults like to read books, scroll facebook, take restavit, babies just sometimes like to have a drink of milk. No biggie.

Now let me break it down why feeding babies in public places is a problem:

It isn’t. Are you picking up what I’m putting down???

It’s Your Right!

The Australian Breastfeeding Association puts it perfectly:

Babies have a right to be breastfed and mothers have a right to breastfeed.

The Government backs it with:

In Australian Federal Law breastfeeding is a right, not a privilege.

Under the federal Sex Discrimination Act 1984, it is illegal in Australia to discriminate against a person either directly or indirectly on the grounds of breastfeeding. Direct discrimination happens when a person treats someone less favourably than another person. For example, it is discriminatory for a waiter to decline to serve a patron who is breastfeeding.

Each Australian state has also enacted their own laws to protect the rights of breastfeeding women in the areas of work, education and the provision of goods and services. If you feel you have been discriminated against or are being threatened, contact the police on 131444 or 000 if you are physically harassed (that’s assault brother)as it’s putting you and your child in danger.

Now then, apart from the natural and normal aspect, it’s seems it’s also very bloody legal! Oh”¦.awwwwkies! Seems some heads may have to come out of some arses after all!!!