8 Ways To Raise Confident Kids

Every parent wants their child to be confident, because building that confidence from a young age means their self-esteem, their self-worth, has a foundation on which a strong and competent adult develops.

So the question now becomes, how can parents help their kids to develop that confidence, and become the adults that we hope they will be?

1. Don’t Over-Praise

When we get too much of anything positive, it becomes less special in our eyes, and kids are no different. If you’re constantly praising them, the take away is that praise doesn’t really mean anything, that it’s not worth reaching for. However when used sparsely, praise is a great motivator for improving confidence and self-esteem. Try and reserve your praise for times your child has really worked at something, and deserves it. Not just for when they do something they should be doing.

2. Let Them Take (Some) Risks

A rise in helicopter parenting of various degrees means that kids are being watched more closely by adults than ever before. As a result, they’re being stopped from taking risks that might lead to mistakes they can learn from. When parents see a child doing something they think might end badly for them, they often step in. But to raise confident kids, you have to let them take some of these risks, even if they end up not working out. They are mistakes they will learn from.

3. Encourage Decision Making

Decision making for a child is generally around pretty small stuff, like what they want to wear that day, or what they want to have at their birthday party. Despite this, kids aren’t getting a lot of chances to make these decisions, with parents taking over and kids simply following along.  This really isn’t an environment where confidence is cultivated, as kids aren’t learning to trust in themselves. So next time, instead of stepping in, let your child decide.

4. Create Competence

When you know you have the ability to do things by yourself, even if you can’t do everything by yourself, you have a sense of confidence. You can encourage this in your kids by cultivating competence in their day-to-day lives. Even young children can learn to help around the home by putting away toys, feeding themselves and so on. It might not sound like much, but little things like this go into the development of your child’s self-esteem in the long-term.

5. Allow Them To Problem Solve

Confident people don’t need to be led to solutions. When confronted with a problem, they work through it themselves until they can find a solution. These skills start in childhood, and you can nurture them by encouraging kids to find their own solutions to the problems they encounter. You can also encourage it by asking questions like “what do you think” and “what would you do” or “what do you think I should do” when talking about your own problems.

6. Give Them Adult Time

Kids who spend time with adults get a chance to challenge themselves both emotionally and intellectually. Some adults do speak down to children, which offers little benefit to either party, but the ones who don’t can provide many opportunities for children to learn and grow through conversation, debate and more. Kids need to spend time with kids, but providing them with a time to chat with adults you trust, like friends at a dinner party, can be really beneficial for their confidence.

7. Nurture Their Interests

It can be tempting to tell your child what they should be doing and what they should be interested in, but forcing them to bend to your will does not create confidence. While a child’s interests might not make sense to you, our personalities are inherently different and we are drawn to different things. It is a good thing for children to have the opportunity to explore and nurture their own interests, as it grows them as a person. In some ways, it’s even better if their interest is unfamiliar to you because it provide your child an opportunity to educate and inspire you as well.

8. Take A Step Back

Independence is an important skill for kids to learn, and it is an integral aspect of their confidence. Unfortunately, in our society, we often do little to encourage the independence of our young people, onto to expect them to pick it all up when they reach adulthood. This rarely works, and results in kids who lack the confidence to make it on their own. As a parent, one of the best things you can do to give your child a solid foundation of confidence is to allow them to have their own independence. Not all the time, and not for every thing. But sometimes, when you feel it’s right, take a few steps back and watch them flourish.

What do you think makes a confident kid?