My son is only three years old and he is only just beginning to find his place in the world.
He learns something new every day, like how to pronounce words like ‘deciduous’ (because that’s a must-have in the vocabulary) and what happens when he bends that new toy we just bought him to the point of no return and snaps it.
While these are valuable lessons, there are some I think will be important to reinforce as he grows up things I need to teach him about women. Even if he ends up preferring men, I believe these lessons will be transferable!
1. Saying “You’re being crazy” is never an appropriate response.
There is no doubt that things can get heated in relationships, even with your own mother *gasp.* But telling a woman she is crazy is just asking for her to go postal on you.
2. Women like compliments”¦ and gifts.
A ‘you look lovely today,’ never goes astray and every little compliment you give, will boost both of you up. And a surprise gift from time to time, even if it just running a bath for her, cooking dinner or presenting her with flowers from the garden (or the neighbours) is always welcome. Gifts don’t have to cost money, it’s the thought behind the gesture that counts.
3. Smiling and nodding aren’t the same as listening.
While they indicate you have some form of engagement in the conversation, we will always catch you out. Especially when we ask you your opinion on said conversation later on that day and you have absolutely no recollection of it. Even if you do tune out, when you are present again, ask us to repeat and then take it all in.
4. It’s OK to cry in front of her.
Showing emotion is not a sign of weakness, it means that you are human. There is no need to bottle anything up and any person who truly loves you will embrace your ability to show them how you feel.
5. Women can smell dishonesty a mile away.
Unless you’re trying to protect our feelings, never lie to women.
6. Embrace your sexuality, whatever it may be.
It’s who you are. Your family and anyone who loves you will support you and anyone who has a problem with it is not worth your time.
7. A little chivalry goes a long way.
Yes, women may want to be treated like equals, but simply opening a door, offering to give up your chair or pulling one out for your date will never go astray. If she declines, don’t be offended, it shows character that you thought to offer in the first place.
8. Learn how to cook.
Women LOVE that!
9. Never have unprotected sex.
No matter how long you have been together, don’t open yourself up to potential harm by not getting tested before you remove the astronaut from the space suit. Also, never trust words, “but I’m on the pill”¦”
10. Remember that trust is EARNED.
Once it’s broken, it’s really hard (but not impossible) to get it back. Always be honest and if you do make mistakes, work to fix them rather than brushing them under the carpet.
11. Everyone is your equal.
You are no better or worse than anyone else, regardless of their race, religion, size, shape, or sexual orientation.
12. Don’t be afraid to tell people you love them.
As important as it is to share your emotions physically, you should also communicate them. Telling someone you love them lets them know how important they are to you and doesn’t make you a pussy.
13. Never scratch or re-arrange yourself in public.
There are bedrooms, bathrooms and other spaces out of eyesight that are better for getting everything back in order.
14. When a woman says “I’m fine,” chances are she’s not.
Give her time to calm down and keep trying to work through the situation with her. It might mean making a compromise.
15. Cleaning, and taking care of kids are things men can actually do as well as women.
I am excited to see that more men, including my husband, are taking an active role in the day-to-day household duties. I know my son has a good role model. For those who aren’t as lucky, make sure your son knows how important his contribution to home life will be when he grows up.
16. Remember that winning isn’t everything.
There will always be disagreements, but there is an art to picking your battles.
17. Don’t be afraid to stick up for yourself, but don’t be a bully.
There is a fine line between getting your point across and overpowering someone. (I’m sure you will have a lot of practice with us over the years finding that balance.) Don’t ever stand over someone or raise a fist in anger
18. Earning less than her shouldn’t be emasculating.
If your partner is earning more money that you in her chosen career, let that be a source of pride rather than a stab at your manhood.
19. Buying tampons and other feminine products shouldn’t embarrass you””everyone knows they’re not for you.
The time will come when your partner will request that you pick ‘a little something’ up for her at the supermarket and it’s not chocolates or flowers. Yes, it will be daunting, but you will survive the experience and there won’t be any nasty side effects.
20. Remember which brain to rely on at the right time.
Please, please remember to engage that brain of yours located inside your skull and don’t rely on the one further south all the time. Think big decisions through and don’t be persuaded by someone because of what they are offering you in the bedroom.
What other lessons do you think your sons must learn?