Only children, and the parents of only children, hear a lot of nonsense in their day-to-day lives that make them question why their choice to have just one child is so dividing.

After all, single-child households are on the rise, and while those kids might not grow up in the same way as you with your house full of siblings, they are hardly disadvantaged for their upbringing.

We get it. As a society and as individuals, we all hold opinions on a wide variety of issues, and sometimes, we want to share those opinions with others, without necessarily thinking whether it is going to improve their lives. But sometimes, it really is better to keep your mouth shut, particularly if you were planning on saying any of these 12 things to the only-child parent in your life.

1. “Your Life Must Be So Easy!”

There are two sides to this. Sure, parents with just one child don’t have to sort out sibling rivalry, make multiple lunches in the mornings, or spend as long juggling newborns, but that doesn’t mean their lives are easy. Being a parent has its own challenges, regardless of how many kids you have. Perhaps those parents realised after one that they would have difficulty with a larger family, or that they just loved having one. After all, parents might complain about the stress of having more than one child, but that was their choice as well.

2. “You Aren’t A Real Parent With Just One.”

If you even think about saying this to the parent of a single child, even just to ‘motivate’ them to have more, you really need to take a long, hard look at yourself. Parents with just one child are ‘real’ parents. They do not, as some people think, take on less commitment or make less sacrifice than other parents. In fact, they have just the same job as any mum or dad. To protect, nurture and encourage the life under their charge.

3. “Your Child Must Be Lonely.”

Wow, how often do parents of only children hear this line. Way too much! We think it’s important to note that there’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely. As it turns out, many only children feel that they experience less loneliness because they’re more adjusted to spending time alone. They know how to hang out in their own company, and occupy themselves. Of course it’s important to have friends and networks, so if you’re worried about someone’s only child, invite them over for a play.

4. “They’ll Have To Look After You Alone.”

Ah, and now we start with the guilt. Technically, it is true that an only child will be the only potentially looking after their parents in their old age. However, in larger families, there’s no guarantee that the workload of caring is shared anyway. In many cases, it still falls to just one child, regardless of family size. Not to mention that families who have just one child might be more financially prepared for that anyway, so it could be a good thing.