100 Thoughts Whilst Out Buying Milk

There’s little more exciting in a Mum’s world than a trip to the shops on her own! It’s like a mini-break to a place where no Dad really wants to go. You can usually get away with a casual saunter through the aisles (unless you are in a high-voltage sprint to get the missing ingredient for dinner), but  you never really can get out of Mummy mode, can you? Here is SAHM’s Krissy’s take on her 8 minutes of freedom…..

1. Oh that’s awesome.
2. Someone’s put the milk away, empty.
3. And do I have to realize this at the Worst. Possible. Time.
4. Why do we have to drink 3 litres of milk a day?
5. Those kids are almost at maximum feral level
6. I’m outta here.
7. Yah, if hubby thinks he is being rewarded for putting away empty milk”¦he’s dreaming.
8. Where are my keys?
9. Where could they possibly be?
10. Wish I had one of those old-school key rings that whistles back to you.
11. I’m sure I put them on the hook.
12. I’ll check the kids’ room.
13. Bloody hell, where are they?!!
14. Oh there they are.
15. Still in the front door.
16. Right, now what was I doing?
17. Milk.
18. No you’re not coming.
19. No. No-one is, Mum’s going on her own.
20. Yep, it’s gonna be a blissful eight minutes all on my own.
21. After today, I deserve it!
22. Fine I’ll sneak out the back then.
23. Aaaahhhhh.
24. That’s better.
25. The sound of silence.
26. Maybe I could just sit here and enjoy it for a minute.
27. Yes! Finally alone.
28. Bugger! They’re peeking through the blinds.
29. Quick! Take off before I have to take one with me!
30. Time for some music.
31. Loud music!
32. Woot, woooooot!
33. I love this song!
34. Louder!
35. I feel so freeeee!!
36. And young!!!
37. And like I’m out dancing!!!!
38. Ooops, best not miss the servo.
39. Or should I?
40. I could just keep on driving?
41. With the wind in my hair.
42. I’m winding down the window!
43. And sticking my head out a bit!
44. Yah! Wind in my hair.
45. Shit! Bug in my mouth!
46. Oh that’s so gross.
47. Where was I again?
48. Oh yes. Running Away.
49. Far, far away.
50. I could become a gypsy and travel from place to place.
51. And be mysterious.
52. And have super cool earrings.
53. Scarves! I’d have to get some good gypsy scarves too.
54. The kids will be fine.
55. I could visit when my caravan is passing through this way”¦.
56. Bit slack leaving them without milk though.
57. Alright I’ll pull into the servo then.
58. Sorry, what did you say? My ears are ringing.
59. Yes, I do normally drive around with the music up that loud.
60. Just the milk thanks buddy.
61. No I don’t have any flybys.
62. No I don’t want any gummy bears with that.
63. Oooh, but I do want a mint aero bar.
64. Holy crap! Forgot my wallet!
65. Hang on a tick, I’ll check the car for change.
66. There’s got to be more than that.
67. I’ve already had a bite of the aero bar.
68. I’ll have to pay for it.
69. Wonder if they’ll judge me for paying in 5 cents coins?
70. Well it is money.
71. Serves them right for being a smart arse about my music.
72. Right – back in the car.
73. Turn left to a life time of freedom and awesome gypsy earrings?
74. Turn right and back to the land of chaos?
75. What a cross road.
76. Last chance.
77. Turned right.
78. Still felt a bit slack about just thinking about running away without leaving milk.
79. Woooooo. Radio gold mine!
80. Another winner.
81. Home again, home again.
82. Giggidy, gig.
83. That’s not the right saying.
84. Hah. It’s been hijacked by that sleazy guy from Family Guy.
85. My ears are ringing.
86. Feels like I’ve been out all night.
87. My 8 minute dance party.
88. Just what I needed!
89. Amazing what an 8 minute break can do.
90. How could I ever dream of running away from these darlings?
91. I’m pretty sure my heart is bursting with love right now.
92. Must remember to actually take the keys inside this time.
93. Okay, okay. I’ve only been gone for 8 minutes!
94. Yes, I love you too guys.
95. Who’d like some milk?
96. Stop jumping, please.
97. Stop jumping near the baby, please.
98. WE DO NOT JUMP ON BABIES.
99. Holy cow.
100. Probably should have phoned home at the cross roads.