Being a parent doesn’t give you the licence to be an asshole.
While we are all struggling with this parenting thing, it doesn’t mean the world owes you anything. So at least be a decent human being – towards your family and other people. Short of child abuse and neglect, these are 10 of the worst things you can possibly do as a parent.
1. Giving unsolicited advice and judging other parents.
Repeat after me: you are not the boss of other parents. Unless they have specifically asked for it, try not to give other parents advice. As long as they are not abusing their children, let them do their thing. Ditto for silently judging other parents’ choices. Just do not. It’s a waste of energy and you have not magically become a better parent by sitting on your high horse.
2. Helicopter parenting or hovering over your kids.
You are not actually offending anyone by hovering over your kids but you can be doing more harm than good. Let them explore, let them get dirty, let them get into scrapes! As long as we’re not talking about a life or death situation, allowing them to be on their own (with you watching from a distance if they are still little) will help them learn and grow.
More Reading: 13 Extreme Stories of Helicopter Parenting
3. Not disciplining your kids.
Okay, not disciplining your kids is akin to not loving them at all! Giving in to all their demands and never saying “no” to them only helps them grow from little assholes into big assholes.
4. Over-scheduling your kids.
I knew people who enrol their kids in lesson after lesson after lesson – all on top of school! While I understand parents who want their kids to be the best in everything (okay, scratch that: I don’t understand!), over-working your kids until they have virtually zero downtime is just cruel and selfish.
5. Requiring them to do physical labour too difficult for their age.
I totally understand and support giving kids household responsibilities like setting the table or vacuuming or watching over their younger sibs. What I don’t understand? Parents requiring their kids to do work for free: actual 8-5 adult jobs like serving tables, manning the checkout counter, doing freaking carpentry work.
I mean, if you’re having your kids help in the family business, the least you could do is pay them! And wait until they are in their teens for crying out loud.
6. Not setting boundaries at home.
Basically, this adds to the idea that in order to raise well-rounded kids, they need to have a fair share of discipline and boundaries.
If everything is permitted at home, how can they follow laws and regulations when they go out? You might also want to tell them early on that Uncle Bill is not permitted to touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable. And on the flip side, they can’t touch other people if it’s making them uncomfortable, too.
7. Taking sports and academics way too seriously.
Overly competitive mums and dads, hello hello, this is for you! There is a fine line between encouraging your kids to do well in sports and in school and getting into a fight with the football coach because you think your kid is in the right. If your kid is gonna do well in sports and academics, at least make sure he also learns to be a good sport.
Don’t forget you’re his role model.
8. Setting too high expectations.
A good way to set yourself up for massive failure is to set too high expectations.
Don’t expect too much from other people – don’t expect your friends to go out of the way to help you out all the time – don’t expect your kids to be angelic geniuses all the time, and most importantly, don’t expect too much from yourself. Do your best but don’t beat yourself over things that don’t go your way.
9. Over-sharing pictures of your children on social media.
Your kids’ life is not a circus for everyone to gawk at. Frankly, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but apart from family, no one else is that interested in seeing your kids’ milestones. (Sometimes, even family is not that excited either…) Then there are predators that you must protect your children from.
How are you protecting your kids if you’re making their lives public through over-sharing their pictures? Don’t make your profile a free-for-all treasure chest for predators.
10. Seeing yourself as superior over single people or people without children.
I can’t even count how many times I’ve seen comments that go like this: Who are you to talk? You don’t even have kids! Basically, if we’re talking about parenting, yes, probably parents might know more about it than non-parents but you cannot discount the opinion of teachers, nannies, babysitters, even people with baby siblings.
And if you’re talking about something else? There’s no reason to feel superior, like at all. There is a difference between people with kids and people without kids but that doesn’t mean you’re better.