How Does Your Home Affect You and Your Family?

The difference between our home and everyone else’s home is US!  A home is any type of dwelling where you belong and feel safe.

It is a place where you can have privacy and surround yourself with pieces of you.  It is a culmination of choices we make and it sets us up for our next choices.

Control & Territorial Rights

Our home is our physical and psychological haven.  To many people it is the only place where they can truly flex their muscles and have a say.  We don’t get to choose the decor at work and we don’t get to control how loud the sound is at the cinema but we do at home.

Home is also where we get to draw a line and say this is mine.  That is one of the reasons our homes are all different so there can be no confusion between yours and mine.  We are very territorial beings but we do like to invite others in to our space.  Nevertheless, it is important to us that the guests observe the rules and boundaries in our home.  Flexing our home ground power position.

Safety

Even if your home isn’t particularly tidy or well organised you do know what is going on in there.  Compared to the outside world, we are experts at home. For the most part, we know the layout, we know who is there and we know where we will eat and sleep.  To feel safe some physical and psychological needs must be met.  We need shelter, comfort, order, control, identity and connection.

Expression of Identity

The exteriors and especially the interiors of our homes express our personal tastes and values.  Some neat and maintained, some neglected, some stylish and some dull.  Some people don’t feel the need to express themselves in their homes while others do.  Many researchers believe that expressing yourself as an individual is very important for mental health and well being and is very much a part of what makes us tick.

Objects

The paintings, ornaments, books and furniture in our homes are personal clues about or personality, our culture and our status.  Are these objects for show or are they practical?  The objects we surround ourselves with don’t just reflect our present life circumstances, they also prompt memories of past experiences or important associations with people.  This again is crucial to our well being.

Colour

The colours we use to decorate our home reflect the fashion sure, but they also express ourselves too.  Colours influence our mood, efficiency and well being.  You may choose your favourite colour but why is it your favourite colour?  Colour can have an influence on the shape, size and atmosphere of a space.

Lighting

The way you illuminate a room can have a dramatic effect.  It too can change the shape, size and atmosphere.  If there is not enough light for the necessary tasks you will feel annoyed and if there is too much light in an area where you wish to relax, you just won’t.  Plenty of natural light flowing into a room gives a feeling of freshness and well being.

Our Senses

When encountering your home or someone else’s for that matter, the experience is not limited to the visual side of things.  We are also picking up on sound, smell and touch.  These subtle influences are what make our homes “Our Homes”.  The music always played in a home or the feel of someone’s luxurious carpet creates an impression.  You may remember Grandma’s home smelling of apple pies or the talc she wore or the stale smell of cat piss.  Birds chirping.

Leisure

Many of us have about 8 hours of leisure time each day.  Most of this is spent in our homes and the level of enjoyment achieved from the leisure or down time is partly dependant on how pleasant it is to be at home.  Having a space for our hobbies and interaction with other occupants of the home is what makes “Family”.  It is what keeps you coming back to enjoy the company.

Eating Rituals

Our eating habits reflect our lifestyle in the same way as what we wear on our bodies or how we choose to decorate our homes.  Our very survival depends on the nutritional value of the food we consume and yet that is not our main concern.  This is why.  Eating is a highly social form of recreation.   We share food to show love and protection.

Pets

Deep down in the psyche of all of us you can find the “farmer” or even deeper the “hunter gatherer”.  We seek the companionship of animals just as much as our ancestors did.  They tell us we are home and that all is well.  The alert us to danger and shower us with affection.

Garden

The garden is one of the most public mediums of self expression we have.  It tells people how you feel about your neighbourhood and how you feel about yourself.  Gardening can satisfy some of our most basic psychological needs.  We need to reduce stress, have a creative outlet, get back to nature and have hobbies and friends of similar interests.

Technology

In this day and age the home is somewhere where we store a lot of our technology.  We go home to charge not only our bodies but our devices.   We can take the time to sit in comfort and catch up with friends that we wouldn’t see and to play games with those we may never have met.

Without a sense of “Home Turf” we cannot function as truly social individuals.  Our basic territorial needs must be satisfied for us to grow and develop.

How many of these can you tick off?