Feeling Safe

Last week, I found myself in a new kind of uncomfortable situation. My family and I have recently moved house and my husband was leaving town for the night on a work trip.

I haven’t yet gotten to know all the ‘normal’ sounds of the house, I don’t yet know our neighbours and even though we live in a good neighbourhood, the house is low down on the block and backs onto a running track. As night fell, so did my spirits and feelings of safety, to the point where I ended up sleeping on the lounge room couch to ease my racing mind. This was definitely not the first time I had ever felt unsafe, but the feeling of being under even minor threat in my own home was really unnerving.

Since then, I have noticed a number of my friends feel the same. One friend reported she came home from being out all day to find the door to her house ajar. Nobody was inside and nothing had been taken but she found herself in the position of having to mentally prepare herself for the worst case scenario. One friend was spooked by an infestation of possums in her backyard at 2am; another suffered a minor heart attack when a stranger banged on her front door in the middle of the night. Not all of these situations happened at night, but all occurred when my female friends were on their own. And whilst I’m all for women being able to defend themselves, not being reliant on men to do so, I find it a little confronting and really sad that most women cannot feel safe in and around their homes and neighbourhoods on their own.

When we feel scared or threatened, our kids pick up on it. My son was inconsolable that his father, his protector, was not home should ‘something happen’, to the point where I had to flex my one piddly bicep and pull out the electric bread knife and place it next to his bed for protection. So what can we do to make ourselves feel a little more secure and protected, when those we rely on to make us feel this way are not around?

Lock Up

To ease your mind, lock all doors and windows before it gets dark. There’s nothing worse than finding a back door wide open when you go to bed to add fuel to the thoughts of someone hiding in your house.

Canine Protection

Statistically, thieves and vandals will chose a house that is dog-free as even the smallest of furry friends will usually cause a commotion if something is awry. They can also make you feel safer if you have them in the house with you.

Invite a Friend Over

This may not always be possible if all of your friends have families of their own and it’s a school night, but if you feel unsafe on your own, the company of a friend can do wonders to ease your mind.

Keep Your Phone Close

Keep your charged phone near the bed when you are sleeping and next to you on the couch. Don’t rely on the landline phone. If you know the phone number of your local police station, program it in and keep it on the open screen.

White Noise

The ambient noise of a fan or TV on low volume can mask the insignificant sounds of the house and keep you from jumping at every little crack and squeak.

Keep It Light

Try not to watch anything too thought-provoking on TV just before bed. Law and Order SVU might be your favourite show, but not the best choice for a woman home alone and already on edge!

Additional Extras

If you are going to be home alone quite frequently, it may pay to invest in more exterior lighting and a home security camera or alarm to ease your mind. These can be costly but what price sanity?

Whilst some may think it’s silly that grown women can get scared in their own homes and neighbourhoods, any situation or environment you find threatening is significant to you. With the obvious exception of illegal weapons and criminal activity, you need to do whatever you need to, in order to feel safe.

What are your tips for feeling safer when you feel threatened? In the home and out?