My Controlled Crying Story

My Controlled Crying Story

My controlled crying story is Alli’s experience with it, and how she and bub got through it in one piece!

Controlled crying can ignite its fair share of controversy. Some parents find it effective, other parents are adamantly against the idea. I’ve found that with any information regarding the raising of babies, hard and fast rules don’t always apply – each child is different, each cry is different and their needs change so frequently.

When my son was born he was a blessing and easy to care for joy for the first two weeks. Then something happened.. The ‘change’ occurred and my sleepy, happy infant turned into a tiny screaming terror. No one but Mum could soothe him and he refused to be put down for even five minutes. Well meaning family members kept insisting that I leave him to cry, and as any new Mum will do, I dutifully followed their advice. Needless to say, both Mum and bub were miserable and exhausted. It was my lovely Aunty, who herself declared her second born to be a ‘difficult’ baby, told me to do what I felt was right. If I wanted to spend all day in the couch, baby on the breast or cuddled into my shoulder, to do just that. I did and we were both far happier. I also found the use of a baby wrap carrier to be the saviour of my sanity – my tiny terror was comforted by being so close, and I was able to get on with nappy washing, household chores etc.

Fast forward a few months and my tiny terror is not so tiny, nor so terrifying. He tolerates being left on his play mat or in his rocker and life is generally easier. This is where my dabbling into controlled crying comes into play. My little boy is a bit of a night time party animal and getting him off to sleep can by a difficult process. Cue exhausted tears (from Mum) and general crankiness (from Fletcher) and all the frustration that goes with a tiny human who fights sleep. It’s true when they tell you that a letting them cry won’t hurt them – and while I’m not a fan of allowing a child to scream themselves into unconsciousness, there is a distinct difference between a crying whinge and one of genuine distress. When my little boy refuses to go to sleep I put him in his rocker and let him have a whinge while I clean the kitchen after dinner. It’s a speedy process (thank you dishwasher!) and ten minutes later I cuddle him on the couch, pop him on the breast, and he drops off to a contented sleep. For us, this process works every single time. It’s all about finding a balance between well meaning advice and what works for your baby and for you.

Confession time – I have on more than one occasion, particularly recently with my currently cranky, teething baby, popped him in his rocker while he’s having a wail and escaped to the kitchen for a coffee to de-stress and calm down. The process of raising babies is far from easy, and some days can be overwhelming. This is why I firmly believe a cry won’t hurt them. You’re not abandoning them and five minutes to collect your thoughts when your baby seems hell bent on discovering the capacity of their lungs is necessary to your mental health.

Having said that, as for generally crying during the day, there will come a time when the troubles of the world, as my son sees it, cannot be fixed by his loving Mumma. But for now, all the wrongs in his world can be righted with a soft word and a warm cuddle – and I intend to make the most of this time, and enjoy it, while it lasts.

Alli is a new Mummy of 11 week old baby boy Fletchy Poo who is the brightest new joy in his whole families life.