Hell Hath No Fury Like a Mother Shopping With Kids

Every week I have all the best intentions to make this week’s shopping trip fast and pain-free (and preferably online!). But life gets in the way and I am left hauling my tribe to the supermarket at least once a week to purchase the items essential to sustenance and personal hygiene.

A typical trip would go something like this…..

Children are given usual pre-warnings in car (ie threatened with death) as I struggle to manoeuvre into the tiny car park that is my local supermarket. After dislocating my shoulder trying to remove a trolley from its steel queue, Smallest Child demands to be put in trolley seat as Biggest Child whinges loudly as to the injustice of no longer being able to fit into the trolley seat. The trolley of course has a wonky wheel, forcing me to ignore all standard trolley etiquette and careen sideways down the aisle dishing out apologies to the shoppers trying to avoid a shopping trolley induced injury.

The children demand the reimbursement of toy/food item I promised last week if they behaved and purposely did not purchase, leaving all future negotiations involving bribery with supermarket products null and void. With the promise of sugar the children find this moment to be completely at ease sharing all embarrassing stories at high decibel to any grown up nearby that is forced to listen.

I get to checkout only to find that amongst the 4 or 5 necessities I originally came to purchase, I now have 47 unnecessary items, including an industrial sized bag of BBQ Shapes and a carton of plastic, Simpson-endorsed “fruit” strings that hold about as much nutritional value as a shoelace. I pay for it and get the hell out of the shop, only to be greeted with the fantastic prospect of now loading my car with both children and shopping and driving home hearing my purchases roll around my boot space, wondering just how harshly the dog food tins are crushing the eggs; only to reach the oasis of home.

By Jody Allen

Jody Allen is the Chief Editor and Owner of Stay at Home Mum. She has recently started writing a weekly article for The Gympie Times and thought you may enjoy it too!