Welcome to Ask Aunty SAHM and her first world problem solution emporium! Aunty SAHM is your modern day agony Aunt, who is an expert in all matters when it comes to solving all your first world problems. Submit your questions through our fabulous Ask Stay at Home Mum official fan page!

Today’s problem solved: Dirty Dog Business

Dear Aunty SAHM,

Why is it when I walk my dog and I’ve forgotten to take poop bags with me, the dog will always stop and poop in the most obvious places, in front of crowds of people? If go out prepared then my dog will always be discrete and tidy, preferring solitude over company, when it comes time to poop.

But when I’m helpless, he does them in the worst places while the gathered crowd frowns and tutt at me disapprovingly.

Your advice please!

Rachel

Oh the shame. People are always throwing around their blatant judgment toward us ditzy folk. I mean it’s not like we forget the bags every time. Those tutts can really get a girl down on an off day.

I’m glad you came to me with your dilemma. I have often pondered this incredibly bizarre phenomenon myself. Does the dog somehow know there is a crowd? Or that you are helpless? Can’t nosey people look at the positives? I mean, the dog is out and about and it’s not like we are going to just boldly keep walking whilst they’re all staring at us, with their daggers for eyes.

Perhaps dogs really are creepy and like that sort of weird stuff? You know with pooping and people watching and the like? Whatever the reason, you can see I’ve already given it considerable thought which by default makes me an expert in this complex matter.

I’m sure some of our dear readers are screaming at their screens right now ‘Just don’t forget the bags, nincompoop!’ But that is not the problem at hand, is it Rachel? What we need here are strategies to deal with the dog’s (obvious) cunning nature and the harsh judgments dished out by the passers-by.

It’s not really good enough to ignore that the dog has ‘dropped some kids off at the pool’ as we don’t want to end up like Buenos Aires where an estimated 650 people are hospitalised every year from slipping over on dog poop.

If you do head off on a walk with the dog and you’ve forgotten the all important poop-a-scoop bags, act now! Before the pooping starts. Ask other friendly dog walkers or local shops if they have a bag to spare, or check your bag for tissues, old receipts or nappy deodoriser bags to use in a pinch.

What’s that you say? You don’t normally take your handbag round the dog park? Well surely one of the gawkers will have one with them. Boldly stride right up to them and let them know you’re (one-off) having a bad day and see if they have any of the above-mentioned items handy for you.

Once your home, pop online and buy one of those rolls of poop bags that attach to your lead and never be caught out again! And while you’re already there and online shopping, pick up something nice for yourself. You’ve had a rough day.

xx Aunty S.