What is Bad Sex? And Are You Getting it?

Most men would say that all sex is good sex, and even bad sex is good sex.

Not even the most perfect couple will have amazing sex every single time. There is going to be a time you have bad sex. Most of the time there is a solution – or at least a good reason (tiredness, small children etc). But sometimes Bad Sex is caused by other, more serious reasons.

We asked our Community what they consider to be ‘Bad Sex’ – here is what they said…

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Bad Sex is Being A Selfish Lover

“Bad sex for me is when my partner is selfish. Sex is finished when he is finished, and he doesn’t care about my orgasm.”

“When I go down on him, but he outright refuses to go down on me because he thinks it’s ‘gross’.”

“I do all the work in the bedroom. He just lays there and enjoys it but he won’t return the favour. Now sex is just work and not fun.”

“We have quick sex, but it’s just so he can get off quickly. And because we haven’t usually had any warm-up – it hurts.”

“My husband and I have been together for seven years. I have some ideas of things I’d love to experiment with in the bedroom, but he doesn’t want a bar of it. In fact, he gets angry when I suggest it. So it’s the same old boring sex we have always had.”

“Great relationship but the sex is bad. It’s selfish. He isn’t concerned about what feels good to me. Zero foreplay whatsoever. Just a few minutes of jackhammering then made to feel bad because I didn’t get off. “

“He was so unwilling to learn how to use various methods. Then he insulted me when I wanted to bring toys into it. You don’t need those things!.”

“I’m happily single, but a girl has needs right! But the number of men now that expect a blowjob – but absolutely refuse to go down on me!. I swear it’s getting worse.”

More Reading: 20 Masturbation Tips to Give Yourself an Incredible Orgasm

Bad Sex is Distracted Sex or Interrupted Sex

“Gah bad sex is when you have two toddlers banging on the door to come in, the phone ringing and are late for work when you only have five minutes with your partner. He doesn’t seem to care, but I can’t relax with all that noise going on.”

“I have two kids under two and I work full time and do the house. The last thing I want to do is have sex when I’m so exhausted and I can only think about what needs to be done next.”

“My bed creaks with every thrust – it is so distracting I can’t concentrate.”

Bad Sex is a Lack of Compatibility in the Bedroom

“I’ve had one night stands where the compatibility and desire are so intense…. and I’ve had regular boyfriends where sex is just awkward….which is always weird when we gel in so many other areas.”

“Bad sex is when you take a girl home and she just lays there like a corpse.”

“I feel so bad, but my girlfriend is incredibly insecure. Even though her body is literally perfect, and she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve had the opportunity to lay my eyes on and I let her know any chance I get, she’s still so uncomfortable during sex. I don’t know what to do. I try to let her know to just let loose. Tell her she’s perfect. Everything. But she never enjoys sex as much as she could. Which makes it less enjoyable for me, and makes us have less of a sex life.”

“I went out with this boy and we both had had a fair amount to drink. We ended back up at his place and sex just didn’t work. I felt like he was zigging when I was zagging. We just weren’t in sync at all. Bad sex.”

More Reading: How Much Sex Should I Be Having?

Bad Sex is When There is a Lack of Personal Hygiene

“When he hasn’t washed his body well enough and leaves skid marks on the sheets. Mate, you are 35 years old – learn to wash your asshole!”

“I had a one-night stand a few years ago – I swear this man had never changed his sheets. They were stained and dirty and pillowcases smelled like old cheese. Instant turnoff!”

“Her breath was just awful… I even offered her mints but she didn’t take a hint.”

“She smelt ripe – overripe… I like the smell of a woman, love it in fact, that musky smell is intoxicating. But there is a natural smell and there is ‘unwashed’. She smelt like a men’s urinal cake, old urine and seaweed. Gross.”

“He comes home from the gym all stinky and sweaty, and thinks his ‘stink’ is a turn-on.”

“When her nails are just too long and they leave gaping scratches all over my body.”

More Reading: 6 Common Vaginal Odours and What They Mean

Bad Sex is a Lack of Foreplay

“I want to be wanted. A kiss or a caress at least to warm me up. Not just wham bam… “

“He just started straight to the jackhammering. He wouldn’t listen to any feedback and it only lasted a few minutes. It was not fun.”

More Reading: 6 Reasons Foreplay Will Get Your Partner Hot and Bothered

Bad Sex is Feeling ‘Unsatisfied’ Afterwards

“Sex to me is like a really itchy itch that desperately needs to be scratched, but you just can’t reach it.”

“When we have sex, he cums after five minutes, and asks me if I orgasmed.”

More Reading: 13 Reasons Why Women Don’t WANT to Have Sex

Bad Sex is Sex That is Pushed Upon Us

“Sometimes I just don’t feel like sex. But he wants it, so I give in to stop an argument. And it sucks.”

“I had an ex who constantly pressured me into sex even when I told him I didn’t want to or wasn’t in the mood. At times it was awful.”

“He keeps asking me for anal sex, for a three-some, for me to have sex with a female friend in front of him or swinging. I’ve said no so many times. That is out of my comfort zone – but he keeps pressuring me.”

More Reading: 5 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life with Your Partner

Bad Sex is Sex That Goes On Too Long

“Honestly – 10-15 minutes is heaps. Any longer than that and sex just hurts. Just cum already!”

“One of my ex’s had a routine. So many strokes in this position.. rollover. Stroke, stroke stroke, flip. Stroke, stroke, stroke, turn. If I tried to break up his routine, it was like he completely lost his concentration and had to start all over again from the beginning. Another ex was rather well-endowed but lacked any interest or talent in regard to sex. He’d just lay there with the expectation that I’d always just jump on and go for a ride. Yes, it was fun at first, but it didn’t take long before a different position would have been nice.”

More Reading: My Amazing Boyfriend is Bad at Sex. Are We Doomed?

Bad Sex is a Lack of Enthusiasm By a Partner

“When your partner doesn’t seem into it – that lack of participation is such a turn-off.”

“When I started having sex for the first time, I figured the corpse phenomenon was just what was supposed to happen. Needless to say, my relationship didn’t last long because we never go the rhythm.”

“He just lays there and expects me to blow him, then ride him. He won’t get off his butt to participate. Eww.”

More Reading: Don’t Flick the Bean – Get a Good Sex Toy Instead!

Bad Sex is Unsafe Sex

“When you end up with herpes from the one time you don’t use a condom.”

“I’m sick of constantly being pressured to have sex without a condom. To the point I’m just not having sex at the moment. I’m not risking my life for your five minutes of pleasure.”

More Reading: 50 Sexual Fetishes and Kinks You May Have Never Heard Of

Bad Sex is Sex That Hurts

“I’m not of menopausal age, and penetrative sex hurts unless I use a lubricant. Lubricant every single time.”

“I’ve had sex when I wasn’t warmed up enough, not enough foreplay, and it really really hurt. It felt like I was having sex with a crumbed sausage that scraped every centimetre of my vagina.”

“When my partner and I tried anal sex for the first time, it was excruciatingly painful. But back then we didn’t use lubricant or took it slowly. Now it’s my favourite thing to do. It just takes time, communication and good lube!”

Bad Sex is When A Partner Criticises Your Body

“When we get naked and he points out rudely that I have a full bush. I love my pubic hair – it’s how I want to wear it. Most men seem to expect us all to be bald and waxed to within an inch of our lives.”

What is Bad Sex to you? Join in the conversation at Ask Stay at Home Mum