In Australia, you can name your kid just about anything, as evidenced by some of the terrible things people actually name their kids.
Oh come on, like you don’t roll your eyes at some of the really “out there” baby names too.
However, just because you can name your kid something doesn’t mean you should. And sometimes, the government brings the ban hammer down on really, really terrible and offensive names, refusing to register them on a kid’s birth certificate.
In general, you can expect to be sent back to the drawing board if you try to register a baby name that includes a royal title such as Prince or Princess, the name is obscene, it contains symbols or exclamation and question marks.
1. ‘Straya
Names that were rejected in Australia in 2015 include:
- President
- Jesus Christ
- Bonghead
- Ranga
- Hitler
- Ice-T
- Thong
- LOL
- Panties
- #ROFL
- Batman
- Osama
- Maryjuana
- Spinach
- Medicare
- IKEA
- Post Master General
- D*ckhead
- Sh*thead
- Smelly
- Lucifer
- G-Bang
- iMac
- Circumcision
- Goose
- Pieandsauce
- Virgin
- Scrotum
Update 5th December, 2016: The Victorian government has today just released a list of names it has banned parents from naming their kids:
- Admiral
- Anzac
- Australia
- Baron
- Bishop
- Brigadier
- Brother
- Cadet
- Captain
- Chief
- Christ
- Commodore
- Constable
- Corporal
- Dame
- Duke
- Emperor
- Father
- General
- God
- Honour
- Judge
- Justice
- King
- Lady
- Lieutenant
- Lord
- Madam
- Majesty
- Major
- Messiah
- Minister
- Mister
- Officer
- Premier
- President
- Prime Minister
- Prince
- Princess
- Queen
- Saint
- Satan
- Seaman
- Sergeant
- Sir
- Sister
It’s a bit mind-boggling to think parents would consider most of those names for their precious offspring. No doubt the kids will grow up grateful that someone, somewhere didn’t let it happen.
Of course, Australia isn’t the only place to ban names. Here are some other notable name bans from around the world.
2. New Zealand
Across the ditch, our cousins in En Zed have a similar approach to Australia, but they explicitly state you can’t have a name with more than 99 characters in it. Their famous diva export Lorde got it right when she sang “And we’ll never be royals” because you can’t give your kid a royal moniker over there either. Other official sounding names the Kiwis have banned include Sir, Bishop, Knight, Royahl and Superintendent, while parents of babies Sex Fruit, V8, Lucifer and Fish and Chips also needed to come up with new names. Names that HAVE been successfully registered in New Zealand, however, include Midnight Chardonnay, Number 16 Bus Shelter, Violence and the infamous “Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii”.