Kids Feelings – Safe vs Scared

As a mum, you want to always be there for your baby. Not only is it your job to be there to protect your child, but also to teach them how to protect themselves. After all, you can’t follow them around 24/7 with a first aid kit and bubble wrap. You need to teach them about the big bad world and about the various precautions to take, without scaring them away from ever leaving the house again.

It is critical that your child feels safe and secure in his world. Babies often need mum close by at all times in order to feel this sense of security but toddlers, pre-schoolers and older children will explore on their own. They need to learn how to assess their emotions, when to know if they are unsafe and how to deal with this feeling.

Teach them about feeling safe vs feeling scared

The first thing you need to do is teach your child the difference between feeling safe and feeling scared. Around the age of three children will be able to understand these emotions. Practice them by reading books about these feelings and getting your child to identify where they feel safe and when they feel scared. Explain to your child that they should always feel safe and that, if they ever do not feel safe, that they can talk to someone they trust about it.

Teach them about feelings

In addition to understanding feeling safe and scared, teach your children about the other emotions as well including happy, sad and angry. When they are acting out, ask them if they feel angry and let them understand what this feeling is. Getting your child comfortable with the different emotions is all part of learning how to avoid situations that evoke emotions of fear, sadness and anger.

Teach them about their bodies

Go over the body parts with your child and help them understand the difference between common body parts and private parts. Talk about good touches, such as cuddles and kisses from Mummy and Daddy as well as bad touches. Let them know that if anyone touches their body in a way they do not like, to tell someone they trust about it. This will not only guard them against sexual predators but also bullying or rough play at school.

Create a Circle of Security

You will not always be there to discuss things when something or someone makes your child feel uncomfortable. Make a circle with five different people that your child will identify as people he/she trusts and that they can talk to. You will most likely include yourself, your spouse, an older sibling, grandparents, aunts and uncles, babysitters or nanny’s and teachers.

Practice Unsafe Situations

Do a little bit of role playing with your child and teach him about using the words “stop” and “no” if someone is doing something he does not like.

Keep Your Child Well Informed

While it is only natural to want to shield your child from the evil truths of the world, it is better to inform them about the various dangers.  Talking about good and bad feelings and emotions, about your bodies and about safety is the best way to help your child come to terms with their own emotions, help them put their feelings into words and ultimately arm them with the best tools for their own safety in the future.