We’ve all heard the story about Lorena Bobbit — the woman who cut off her husband’s penis and threw it out the car window while driving.

Well, if you haven’t you should definitely google that shit. It’s fucking insane. I mean, even to this day it gets me. The thought of Lorena casually driving while holding an actual dick in her hand is a seriously funny visual.

There were plenty of reasons Lorena allegedly had to savagely attack her husband. During the court hearing, she recounted various incidents of physical and sexual abuse during the course of her marriage. But in the end, these occurrences weren’t the reason that lead Lorena to violently dismember her husband’s clam hammer:

It was infidelity.

This is one of the most horrific and incredibly brutal revenge acts I’ve ever heard of. It seems the saying “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” originated from a man whose mutton dagger fell in the wrong sheep. Thanks to social media cheating spouses now have an entire other level of pay back they need to worry about.

In constant circulation, you’ll find various pictures of cheating spouses in bed with the “Other Woman or Man.” There’s also outrageous quantities of video showing spouses being caught in the act. They’re all uploaded for the world’s viewing pleasure and ruthless comment in an attempt to seek some serious revenge on those who hurt them.

What I have noticed, though, is a woman’s and a man’s revenge tends to differ slightly. A woman likes to hit a man where it hurts. His hip pocket, his penis extension (his car) and his actual penis. While men go straight to the worst case of humiliation humanly possible.

A bitch better be faithful or even they grandma gonna know about her little sweetheart’s vagina tunnel.

In the following report, a man went straight for the jugular. In an attempt to morbidly embarrass his partner in the worst way possible; at the wedding the truth unfolded. While making his speech following a beautiful ceremony the groom asked everyone to stand. He advised they were in for a game and what followed was sheer humiliation. He asked all the guests to turn over their plates to reveal either a green dot or a red dot on the back.

Those with green dots were asked to sit and those with red were to remain standing. Once everyone was seated, of those remaining were 8 men. They were guests at the wedding and so called friends of the bride and groom. Without hesitation the groom announced that whilst they were engaged these men had all slept with his now wife and, he was leaving the reception to file for an annulment. What and absolute fucking champ.

What I wouldn’t give to be a guest at this wedding. I personally think although savage as fuck, this is absolute gold.

When men repeatedly cheat, they’d better hope that not all of their mistresses meet. I found an article of a man who was lured to a hotel room by one of his mistresses. Once there on a promise of some serious kink, she tied him up and blindfolded him. Once the man was secure she took off his blindfold to reveal his wife and 2 other woman he’d been sleeping with. They then proceeded to superglue his penis to his stomach. Apparently none of the woman knew about each other originally and plotted revenge to embarrass him in the way in which they had been. It could have been worse I guess.

At least it was superglue and not a staple gun.

After an 8 year affair, one of Barack Obama’s esteemed advisers was publicly humiliated in New York City. Although he was down for a full 8 years of side chick, he decided he’d better quit on the affair while he was ahead. Clearly his mistress was angry and insane. She spent a whopping $250,000 on billboards placed strategically around time square declaring the 2 were soul mates. Awkward…. Pretty sure this guy had a please explain from his wife when he got home.

Now that you can reach the world from your living room, the stakes when cheating have become much higher. In days gone by people liked to keep this sort of scandal under wraps. In today’s society it seems we love nothing more than watching karma unfold in humiliating and savage scenes of cheating spouses getting their own back. So unless you want to experience the same fate as John Bobbit’s slimy little sausso, I suggest you keep your legs shut or your love sword in your pants.