There’s a lot to love about being pregnant, and a lot to hate too.
But most of the time, with the hormones and the crazy waiting for your baby to arrive, the thing that gets on the nerves most is the unsolicited comments.
This is particularly true when you’re in your final trimester, and ready to rip the head off anyone who dares say one of these 10 things.
1. “Wow Are You Still Pregnant?”
OMG! What gave me away? Was it my graceful waddle? Or perhaps the monstrous fishbowl I’m smuggling under my shirt? Maybe it was the whopping knockers or the sheen of ‘pregnancy glow’ sweat. It’s amazing how hard it is to hide that I’m pregnant when my body is nearly as big horizontally as it is vertically. Seriously people, don’t say anything this obvious. Just smile politely and shut your mouth!
2. “Sleep Now Before The Baby Arrives!”
I am so glad you told me that. Here I was thinking that now is the time for partying and living it up in the fat suit that has become my body. And of course, it’s so easy to sleep when there’s a parasite kicking my organs, I’m enormous, and I have to get up and pee 100 times in an evening. Thanks for your advice people, but I’d really just like you to not.
3. “Oh God I Had A Terrible Delivery”
Stop. Just stop right now. The absolute last, and we mean the absolute last thing that a mum needs to hear in the third trimester is how difficult your delivery was. We get it, sharing is caring, but in this case it definitely isn’t. Sure, you might feel a bit of a catharsis talking about your excruciating 5-day labour, but all I’m getting is an urge to kick you straight in the baby maker in desperation.