Husband’s Heartfelt Post About PND After His Wife Took Her Own Life

A husband has written an emotional letter to mothers who are experiencing postnatal depression after his wife, suffering from PND, took her own life.

Kim Chen has taken to Facebook, Remembering Mother Florence Leung, to tell all new mums who are depressed that “You are Not alone…You are Not a bad mother.”

Mr Chen wrote the post two months after his wife, Florence Leung, 32, who had been suffering from postnatal depression, died after going missing in October 2016, suddenly, without explanation. Their son, Ben, was only four weeks old at the time.

After three weeks, Ms Leung was found dead, and had tragically taken her own life. “Since my Flo has been found, our whole family is devastated and grieving right now. However, we must all be strong for our son who is almost 3 months old, we have to take care of him and raise him to be a good, caring and compassionate person– just what Flo would have wanted,” he wrote.

Last week, Mr Chen took again to Facebook to mark two months since his wife was found.

“2 months have passed since the Detectives and victim assistance staffs showed up at our home, with the grim look on their faces. I knew immediately what they were going to say before they entered the door. Yes, it was just like the numerous scenes on TV drama when the police breaks bad news, That grim look on their face. Except, as surreal as it all was, this is not TV. This is happening to me. This is real life,” he wrote.

Since his wife’s death, Mr Chen said that the foundation of his life and the plans he held for the future, were all taken apart. “Everything needs to be rebuilt,” he said, adding that although it has only been two months since he lost his wife, it feels like “half a year”. And, in that time, he said he’s been living in “survival mode”,  taking each day – and sometimes each hour – at a time.

Mr Chen also shared that their son is growing well – that he’s in the 90th percentile for height and weight – and that he “smiles and laughs a lot!”

He then wrote a heartfelt plea to all new mums who are experiencing depression or anxiety.

“For all the new moms experiencing low mood or anxiety, please seek help and talk about your feelings. You are Not alone. You are Not a bad mother,” he wrote.

Mr Chen also urged new mums not to feel guilty about not being able to exclusively breastfeed, “even though you may feel the pressure to do so based on posters in maternity wards, brochures in prenatal classes, and teachings at breastfeeding classes.”

He then detailed the day he remembered reading a leaflet from the hospital with the line “Breast Milk Should Be the Exclusive Food For the Baby for the First Six Months.” While acknowledging the benefits of breast milk, he wrote about the need for more widespread understanding that supplementing with formula is okay, and that formula feeding is a “completely viable option”.

Mr Chen then expressed his thanks to those helped him be aware of such a “devastating condition”, and for the support he has received over the past two months. “You have no idea how much your comments mean to me,” he wrote.

PND affects around 15 per cent of mothers who just gave birth to their baby. New mums often report feeling tearful, anxious, sad and guilty, without being able to identify an obvious “trigger”. Physical symptoms can include a change in appetite, disrupted sleep patterns and difficulty concentrating.

Source: Essentialbaby.com.au