Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Recommends Skin Products That Have Been Showered With Positive Vibes

It must be a pretty strange experience to be Gwyneth Paltrow.

This is the woman who believes that shampoo causes cancer in babies, along with your underwire, that sunscreen is bad for you, that detox cleanses are necessary for survival and that vaginas should be regularly ‘steam cleaned’ to regulate female hormones.

Oh, and she thinks you should be using organic beauty products that have been prayed on and chanted to in order to induce them with positive energy.

What huh?

Goop calls this ‘intention’ the ‘new secret beauty formula’, and interviewed three luxury organic beauty companies who practice it, including one Australian label called Sodashi. Goop admits, the idea seems “beyond out-there” which, for a company that has in the past has recommended bee venom acupuncture, is really out there. Basically, this ‘new trend’ involves the beauty products being infused with the sought after vibes through a process of chanting, blessing, and music.

The Companies

One company, De Mamiel claim that their oils and creams are showered with “extensive prayer, meditation and music” before they make their way onto shelves. However, in a strange twist, the brands owner admits she rarely talks about the process because “people think ti’s hippie hoo-ha”.

No really?

But she claims that people can “feel something” when they try the product, making them curious as to the intricate process of chanting on inanimate beauty creams.

If you think it couldn’t get more ridiculous, then just wait until you hear about what happens at Australian label Sodashi. The company’s “meticulously crafted” products play a central role in the afternoon meditation sessions undertaken by Sodashi employees. Founder Megan Larsen says that an Ayurvedic rain melody is also played in the lab to “cleanse the space” where the products are made. She said: “We want to ensure that the energy going into making the product is the best it can be”.

That’s not even the worst of it. The third company, Ila, manage to step just a bit further off the reservation with the comment from their founder and chairman, Denise Leicester. She claims that the skin is “an organ that is deeply emotional and subtly connected to our heart energy” particularly if you’re a lady. That’s the reasoning behind the company using healing chants to bless their range of salts, oils and scrubs. Don’t worry, if you want to bless them again at home you can get the chants on CD from them too.

“What we put on our skin can nourish and nurture our emotional happiness as well as nourishing the physical skin,” Leicester said.

Thank god, because we were so worried about our inner sense of beauty when we purchased these ludicrously overpriced beauty products!

The Results

Interestingly, all three companies put a lot of stock into their ‘intention’ practices, saying that the results that customers see depend “to a significant degree” on the intentions that have been infused in the product.

So you’re saying that the products themselves are actually not worth it? Because let us tell you if we wanted a healing chant, we wouldn’t be getting it in a bottle!

Goop explains the entire process in their article, which frankly we skimmed in fits of giggles wondering who in the hell is being sold on the ‘intention’ concept. But Goop closes it out in a predictably pretentious, we-are-the-1% way with their conclusion claiming that the product may not “instantly spiritual-ize[s] you” (is that even a word?) but that your body, and your skin can feel the “care invested in it and, ever so subtly, responds”.

Riiiiiight.